I Challenge You

Dear Readers,

Today I am going to take a step outside of my normal format (in a way) to address you dear reader as opposed to the typical letter to myself. I decided because it is Leap Day, it was a chance to shake it up and deviate for a day.

I want to talk to you all about a subject that is very near and dear to my heart, Communication.

As defined by dictionary.com

Communication[kuh-myoo-ni-key-shuh n] 
noun

1. the act or process of communicating; fact of being communicated.

2. the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing or signs.

3. Something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted.

4. a document or message imparting news, views, information, etc

5. passage, or an opportunity or means of passage between places.

In the day and age that we are in, so many people send a multitude messages and post so many comments on this site or that, but hardly say anything of meaning. The personal aspect of communication has been stripped away from our day to day life. We are able to drop a message to anyone and have it delivered to their intended recipient within seconds no matter where in the world that person is.

We have become a society that attempts to get our thoughts and purpose out in 140 characters or less. As a result we are often quick to the point and lack feeling and substance in what we say. The art of language has been butchered into quick one-liners and acronyms.


In the day before we all took to our "inbox" to search for that couple line message answering a question or sending the most recent photo we went to our mailboxes to wait for a letter to arrive, old fashioned hand written letters.  They would come to us in beautiful script (which most children today can not even read as it is not taught in a large number of schools), depending on who they were directed to they might have drawings in the margins or the light scent of perfume. Often times they would be multiple pages with thought out sentiment that people today don't necessarily take the time to include.

"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead"  ~ Mark Twain

I stumbled upon a site recently that supports the importance of letters as they used to be. The organization is called Letters Live. Unfortunately for me they are based out of England, but fortunate for me it seems one of my absolute favorite actors takes part in the organization so I have gotten to watch him read several letters like this one:

Benedict Cumberbatch in Letters Live

YOUR CHALLENGE


I urge you - oh dedicated social media user, visit this website and look around. Go to YouTube and search for Letters Live.  Listen to the thoughtfulness and beauty that is in a single letter.  Let it inspire you to take up a pen and a piece of paper. Take up multiple pieces of paper if the spirit hits you and write a letter from the heart. You will not have the backspace button at hand so the thoughts you put down will be provoking and real.

Now comes the twist that you knew I would put on it.  As you prepare to put your ink to paper I want you to envision the recipient of your letter. I want you to see the person as if they were right there with you, sitting just across the table from you.  Imagine that person in the flesh, solid, listening, curious as to what you have to say.

Now, I want you to imagine the face of that person is yours at the age of 16 years old.

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart" ~ Wordsworth

So many of you have expressed the feeling that you had thought of doing something like this.  Today, I encourage you to write that letter.

Sincerely,

Bidy




I would love to hear from you, my readers. I would love you to share your letter with me and if inspired and are interested in writing a guest post, allow me to share your letters with my readers.

You can reach me via email at:   Bidy@dearlittlerme.com

Giving Up

Dear Littler B,


It is finally Friday here in a random February week in 2016.  My third cup of coffee is brewing and annoyingly on the tv "Oscar Mania" has taken over regularly scheduled programming. You are somewhere in 1989, I imagine in the band room reading your newest installment in the letters that have made it through the funnel of time and into your hands.

It struck me the other day that these letters would have been so much easier if you take notes along the road of you becoming me so that I know what fears, questions and memories would be the important things to tell you about.  At the time you are in though I know you won't realize the cyclical nature of time.


Your dreams are so big yet lack any definition. You want to do such big things and change the world but don't have any idea how you are going to do them.  This is going to frustrate you along the path you walk in the journey of leaving who you are behind and becoming me.




"I have not failed. I've just found 10000 ways that won't work." - Thomas A. Edison



I'm here to give you one big pointer today about that frustration. DON'T let it stop you from achieving the things you want to realize in your world. Some people along your way will believe in you. Some people will laugh. Some people will walk away.  Don't let outside noise distract you dear younger me, don't allow the doubt others have to cause doubt to come into your heart and mind.


If Mr. Edison had listened to the nay-sayers around him do you think we would be sitting in the light today?

As I sit here today I am trying to reach for a dream that I've carried with me long before I was you. Supporters have come into my life from areas I never expected.  If I never tried to actively go for my goal, I never would have realized how many people actually believed in me.  Until you try, you will never know how wonderful and surprising that feels. Doubters will come but it is easier to shake them off (as a pop artists popular right know is known to say) knowing you have those who will help hold you up when you need them until the time when you can hold yourself up.

Don't be afraid to try, don't be lazy and don't surround yourself with what-ifs.  It's you that has the dream so it is you that has to go out there and make it happen. Giving up is not an option.



Shoot for the moon baby girl, you just might land in the stars.

Sincerely hoping you never let them hold you down,

Soundtrack to my day

 
A Great Big World - Say Something
Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud
Wiz Khalifa / Charlie Puth - See You Again
Maroon 5 - Sugar
Passenger - Let Her Go
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
Megan Trainor - All About That Base
Pink - Just Give Me A Reason
Taylor Swift - Shake It Off
Pitbull - Timber
Miley Cyrus - We Can't Stop
John Legend - All Of Me
Imagine Dragons - Deamons
Rhianna - Stay
Mark Ronson / Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk

Understanding

Dear Littler B,

I have been mostly positive in the letters that I have been sending to you through this funnel of time, but I know that you are fully aware that all your days are not going to be able to be sunny and you have to be ok with that. So here is a letter about the days that are not.
 

It is amazing how the people who know you the most understand you the least. I don't know if it is that they know who you are and expect you to make special dispensation for them or if they just decided to get close to you so they can get to know you without having to do the work of truly learning the balance of life - coexistence with you. 

Coexistence is a loaded subject. It means you live in harmony with them. It is a tender balance, you give they take - they give you take. The teeter totter that is life. It may not be an easy state to achieve but it is one that is well worth it.  You are going to become so very used to giving without taking, and finding someone who is willing to give is going to be more than a challenge even when you get my age.  If someone truly cares about you they will care about all of you. The perfection and the imperfection.  One day you will be someone's song bird and another the other one you are with will only get irritated by you putting on music and getting lost in it.  One will encourage you to get on that stage no matter what kind of ass you will make of yourself, the others will keep you in the living room, kitchen, mold of what is expected.


Every time you spend with someone new needs to be a whole new set of rules and a whole new you. The old conceptions of who you are have to be redeveloped while maintaining the core of who you are.  Not an easy task to say the least.  Those who are meant to play a big part in your life will understand those things about you. You will not have to be ok with losing so much of who you are that you don't recognize yourself in the mirror.  They will accept you for who you are and not who fits into their concept of what a companion should be. 

While I can tell you that you are going to have some amazing times with amazing people who want to understand you, be with you for you and accept and incorporate the real you into their own being; I can also tell you there are going to be those pretenders.  You will know them in an instant even when you want to pretend you don't. They are the ones who will want you to take care of them, be their trophy, be their mother, be their bedroom entertainment (yes believe it or not), be their comic relief. Don't give them the time of day because if you do you know you will give them a piece of your heart when they don't deserve it.


You will find that one eventually that will be with you for you, one that will encourage you to be you in all the dorky magnificence that you can be.  Don't be afraid to go after it when you find it. Don't let your doubt get in the way, don't let others doubt get in the way.

It's your life to live baby girl and don't you ever forget that fact. When it is right you will know it. When it is wrong you will know it even faster. Don't buck the system that is intuition. It will only lead to regrets at some point down the road.  You do you and let the rest of the world fuck themselves. In the long run if you don't have your own back, no one else will.

In strength and without ragret,

No Ragrets... Not a single letter.

Sad Sappy Songs to Keep Me Company Today


Dixie Chicks - Landslide
Sinead O'Conner - Nothing Compares 2 U
Elvis - Suspicious Minds
Eiffel 65 - Blue
Dixie Chicks - Goodbye Earl
Trisha Yearwood - She's in love with the boy
Deana Carter - Strawberry Wine
Nelly Frutado - I'm Like A Bird
Cam - Burning House
Lee Ann Womak - Dance
Dixie Chicks - You Were Mine
Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball
Shania Twain - Any Man of Mine
Brad Paisley / Allison Krause - Whiskey Lullibye
Sara Evans - A Little Bit Stronger
The Band Perry - If I Die Young
Dixie Chicks - Not Ready To Make Nice

To My Dark Knight

It Takes a Tribe

Dear Littler B,

I am sitting here writing your letter today and feeling guilty that written to you in a couple days. I know I have been (for the most part) productive in the way of education in the world I've gotten us into - however I have been not so productive in content to provide you insight to what life is like when you become me.

Today's wisdom is coming to you across the decades not from me, but from those I have met through (what you will learn about in time) social media.

At times through your life you are going to be intrigued or inspired to try something new.  It doesn't matter if it is the time you decide to branch off into an unknown religion, learn how to cook, become a programmer, become a mother. All of these things carry the same levels of initiation, insecurity, ignorance, education and enlightenment.  Nothing comes to the average - non-savant Joe like you/I without a great big huge learning curve.

Sometimes along the way you are going to get lucky. You will find yourself in the middle of the village as the idiot who everyone is nice enough to help take care of or encourage and educate. A tribe of people who all have been through the same process and are on various levels of
enlightenment and are willing to share their experiences with you.

Be those experiences good or bad, soak them in dear little me. Every story is a learning experience if you look at it correctly. Learn from those around you what to do, what not to do, what to laugh at, when to work and when to play.  Every person is the wisest person. Wisest in how they have experienced their journey and how they experience this joyful and adventurous carnival ride called Life.

Along that learning process you will (when you are not even looking) become the proverbial butterfly from the creepy crawly caterpillar. Sometimes you will be the student, sometimes the teacher. In time you will go from being the village idiot that you always feel yourself to be into being the wise person that someone will look to for knowledge and inspiration.  I can't promise you will have gotten there yet when you become me, but I can tell you we are somewhere on the journey a little less idiot - a little more wise.

Encouraging you to embrace your village, be one with the tribe,

A big PS. Thank you FB Tribe for being my inspiration today.


Dancing & Frivolity Today Provided by:
Phillip Phillips - Home
Lorde - Royals
Rhianna - Stay
Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know
Phillip Phillips - Raging Fire
Anna Kendrick - Cups
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
John Legend - All of Me
Christina Perri - A Thousand Years

Celebrate The Smalls

Dear Littler B,

First and foremost I need to apologize for yesterday's letter. Fear and panic ruled the day yesterday. I can tell you that even though you have "grown up" (notice that is in quotes), you have not necessarily shed all of your issues. Just traded one set of worries for another. That's part of life. If you didn't worry about something/someone it means you really don't care as much as you think.

You are human. You need to try to remember that. The beautiful perfect imperfection that is humanity. You are going to have days that you doubt, you are going to have (more than your share) of days that you panic, and you are going to have days where you just don't know what to do.

What you need to know is that you are going to have to keep on going and keep on trying.  Things always find a way of working out the way they are supposed to in the end. The results may not take on the shape of the win you expect, however they take on the shape of the win that is supposed to be.  Life is a great big balance. Everything finds a way to even out in the end.

Today, for example it's time to move forward. One of the things that ensures you don't stay stagnant in life is the fact that you adopt early on an attitude of measuring and pushing yourself. You set goals. I can not begin to tell you how well this will serve you over the course of my last 25 years.  Not just the big things like most people do, but the little things.



The most important aspect of these goals is that you let yourself celebrate achieving each one. I'm not saying go spend a lot of money and go crazy because you hit a daily quota but RECOGNIZE!  So many people don't know how important it is to your self-worth to allow yourself to do that simple yet important thing! No matter how small or how large, you set an achievement - give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back!

While these letters have been intended for you, I set myself a goal. I determined that if these letters had fallen into the hands of 2500 other people I would celebrate it by transferring these letters over to a dedicated web site instead of a generic website designed to house letters like this for many people. It is an exciting day for me. I am not quite sure what it is going to look like yet, how it is going to
operate or if it is a wise move but I can't wait to see where the next leg of this journey takes us.

How am I going to celebrate? I'm going to award myself with a few hours away from the computer to walk the trails at the V.A. and enjoy the non-digital sun, the non-mp3 sounds of the birds (don't worry you'll know what that is in a few years) and the non-photoshopped absolutely beautiful people of the town.  In essence, I'm giving myself a day off.

Celebrate, dear littler me. Celebrate the big achievements and the small. You will live a much happier life if you do.

Putting on my shoes and taking off,

Today's Celebration Music Provided By

Kool & The Gang - Celebrate
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup
Smash Mouth - All Star
Bachman Turner Overdrive - Takin Care of Business
Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
Katy Perry - Firework
Black Eyed Peas - I Got a Feeling
Kenny Loggins - Footloose
Madonna - Holiday

Liebster Award!

I was very surprised today when I got nominated for a Liebster Award by WomansPulse! This has been such an amazing journey in self-discovery writing my blog and connecting with other amazing writers in the blogging community.

The Liebster Award is given to new bloggers by other bloggers. It allows new blogs to be discovered and encourages support within the Blogging Community.

The Rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you
2. Share the award on your blog
3. Answer the ten questions
4. Nominate ten new bloggers
5. Ask ten questions
6. Notify your nominees on Social Media

 Questions asked of me

1. Coffee or Tea?
   Without a doubt coffee all day long... IV if it was available. :-)
   
2. Where do you find your content ideas?
   My content ideas for the most part come from life experiences. I sit and play music mostly from the era I am addressing and it immediately puts my mind back into those moments. The fingers start working before the brain even has any idea what they are doing.
   
3. What is your favorite blogging tool?I currently use Blogger/Blogspot. I love the ability to see where in the world my audience is the most. Seeing that someone in a new country has seen my posts.
   
4. Where do you see your blog going?
   I would love to be able to reach and help people who may have gone through similar situations as I but don't know that they are not alone. I would love to encourage self-discovery and encourage people to get in touch with how wonderful they really are!
   
5. Who is your favorite writer?
   This one is such a loaded question. There are so many that I truly can't list a favorite. I love the works of Shakespeare, Bronte, Austen, Alcott, Anne Rice, JK Rowling and Stephen King, but never turn any writing away. My all time favorite story hands down is Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte.
6. What is your best quality?
   This is another hard one for me. Self-praise is not something I do very well. According to my husband, the answer to this my kindness.
7. Facebook or Twitter?
   Yes please! I do use both however I am very new to Twitter and still learning how to use it effectively and not obnoxiously. I am sure anyone who follows me (shameless plug) at @BidyBidyBop will tell you I have a lot to learn.
   
8. Who motivates you? Why?
   Mostly the answer to this would fall to my husband. Upon coming home from work he will often ask me - did you write today? Did you get a new country? How many views did you get? etc. Not because he wants to push me to write but because he wants to encourage me to do something that makes me very happy. He has been such a support in my life no matter what I choose to do. 
   
9. How has blogging changed your life?
   The subject matter of my blog has actually changed my life quite a bit, even though it is in its toddler stage. It has been amazing to reminisce, but it has been even more so put me in touch with who I am today and to be ok with the woman I have become... for better and worse.
   
10. What is your top three blogs your reading?
    I start my day by checking The Keyboard Commentarian.
    Written by the man who introduced me to blogging. He even gave me the greatest gift someone could give by his blogging and helped to find my son during a very difficult time.
    
    I always check in with WomanPulse . I love reading her relationships posts as we have gone through a lot of similar situations in life and are around the same age. I can relate.
    
    I also often check Daily Musings. While sometimes the postings can be religious in nature, Traci always has motivational and inspirational posts. All around "feel-good" go to for me.
    

The following are my nominees - I visit them all regularly though some may not be as new as others. Check them out! 

Sum Of My Pieces  
Blogging to the Oldies
Analysis Worm
One Year of Letters
A Girl of Some Importance
Grace & Giggles
Diary of a New Mommy
Christian Touchet
The Keyboard Commentarian
ReViews by HMF
 



My 10 Questions for nominees:

1. What encouraged you to start your blog?
2. What niche/genre is your blog?
3. Do you post on a schedule or when the inspiration takes you?
4. What are some of your big milestones that you have celebrated for your blog?
5. Do you use social media to promote your blog? Links?
6. On average how long do you find you spend putting together a post?
7. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
8. What is the link to your favorite post on your blog and why?
9. What is your guilty pleasure in literature?
10. What is 1 piece of advice you have to give other new bloggers?

Thank you Heidi @ WomanPulse  again for the nomination! Happy Blogging everyone! 

 

 

Friends...

Dear Littler B,

It is approaching lunchtime very fast here today and I have yet to get my message out to you.  We had quite an evening of it here. Last week was rent so every penny went to that. Sadly that meant we missed the electric bill by 1 day and had to go without power for the night in 17 degree weather. It was shaping up to be a very long evening. I'm not here to talk to you today about money troubles though (which you will have plenty of thanks to the local job market) but to talk to you about how we still slept in a warm bed with a warm meal in our stomachs.

One of the things that have been constant in your life is that somehow you are going to meet the best people in the world. The people you are going to be friends with over the years are going to have the biggest hearts that you could imagine. They have helped you survive in your roughest times over the years. Some out of the desire just to help, without expectations of reciprocation. You will know them when they come (mostly).

Last night was a great example. I know you will have a long time till you get to last night but, maybe when you get there you will remember what I told you so you don't worry as much as I did yesterday. A gentleman who you befriend about a year before I start writing to you is going to be one of your best friends when you are me.  You will meet him when you are going to the V.A. to visit your son. When he is out of the hospital he will move in with you for a little while until a lot of hard work gets him an apartment in the same complex.

You will have several people move in with you over the years because your motto is if you have $1 you will give someone else $2. Like the time you will make all those Easter baskets for the gang at the VA Hospital yet go without sustainable food for a good 2 weeks.  Maybe it's your belief in paying things forward, but probably not. You give to people not expecting to get anything back except the joy of knowing it makes others happy.  Especially your weak spot of veterans. Keep this trait. It will be the center of joy and amazing memories for a long time.

In all, the most important thing to remember is to be the best kind of friend you can be. Not because you expect anything (though I know you don't - because you are a stubborn mule and don't usually let people know when you are having a hard time), but because they all deserve it. They (the friends you will make) have been such a rock in the storm that is going to be your life. 

Outside of that, the only thing that I give you as far as today's advice is to LET them be your friend. You know how much you like the feeling of helping people? Your true friends also have the right to feel that feeling so when they get adamant (and they will) within reason, be ok with accepting help. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Warmly yours,

Bigger Little B



Today's earworms brought to you by

Cam - Burning House
Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County
Alan Jackson - Don't Rock the JukeBox
Alan Jackson - Chattahoochie
Garth Brooks - The Dance
George Strait - Carrying Your Love With Me
Toby Keith - Should've Been a Cowboy
Kenny Rogers - Lady
John Michael Montgomery - I Swear
Dixie Chicks - There's Your Trouble
Shania Twain - Any Man of Mine
Lone Star - Amazed
Tim McGraw - It's Your Love
Vince Gill - I Still Believe in you
Brooks & Dunn - My Maria
Reba McIntyre - Is There Life Out There
Tim McGraw - I Like It, I Love It
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
Garth Brooks - The Thunder Rolls
Randy Travis - Love Without End Amen
Michael W. Smith - Friends

Calling All Bloggers...

Dear Littler Me,

I hate to take away from my advice to you today however I need to take a moment to get a few questions answered. See, I am new to this and in order to learn one must ask questions. Just as I had questions when I was you, I have questions still now that I'm me. Today, I put them out to the other writers to try to get help in making your letters as productive as I can.  Call it a 2016 version of a slam book. I hope they leave me comments below. I hope they answer any questions they want/can. Wish me luck!

BLOGGERS

1. How long have you been blogging and what type of blog do you write?

2. Do you own your own domain and why?

3. What social media do you use and (give links!)?

4. What type of marketing of your blog do you find most successful?

5. Do you earn income on your blog?

6. How frequently do you post?

7. How do you find motivation day by day?

8. What was the most useful piece of advice someone gave you in the beginning?

9. What are your average views on any given day?

10. What is the link to your blog?





THANKS ALL!
Looking for courage to keep going and the wisdom of how to do so.

Sincerely,

Bigger Little B

Brief History of Your Future

Dear Littler Me,

Hi there from a windy Monday in 2016. I've got Hulu playing in the background, coffee in a cup next to me and a complete blank space between my ears. I just can't seem to kick it into gear no matter how I try.

You are going to have a whole lot of days like this when motivation just seems to be no where in sight. Somehow, we can usually push through it but I'm thinking today may not be one of those days.  That leaves me with the conundrum of what to write to you today about. So many memories, so little time.

I don't know how long this channel to you will be open so I've been trying to tell you about as many of the the big and small things that I can.  I've really hit on some of the big ones... Joining the Navy, teen and pregnant, marriage, multiple kids, children in the military, Nashville.... and so on. Maybe today I will hit on some of the not so deep things. A little bit of years to come for you in a brief list.

Enjoy!

Bigger Little B

1991 - Stay away from anyone named Jeffrey Dahlmer, heartbreak over the British family, WWW coming!

1992 - Teflon Don, Sammy the Bull and Amy Fisher are going to be big names, Say goodbye to Johnny Carson.

1993 - Religious fanatics in Texas, Dinosaurs in the Movies, World Trade Center, women in combat and Bobbitt becomes a verb.

1994 - No world series, King of Pop marries into King of Rock's family, we say goodbye to Nixon, Cobain & Jackie O

1995 - Netscape, first widespread GUI, OJ gets away and the legacy of Jerry Garcia.

1996 - Una-bomber, Nintendo64, Dolly the sheep, softball in the Olympics.

1997 - An independent Hong Kong, Heavens Gate, the world learns about quidditch, the world mourns Princess Di.



1998 - Monica and the POTUS, McGuire & Sosa race each other, ISS and women around the world celebrate the invention of Viagra.

1999 - Columbine, Pokemon, Y2K apocalypse scare, Dream Team is formed

2000 - Putin appointed, GWB elected, the real Slim Shady stood up, Big Brother comes to the waves.

2001 - Wikipedia becomes a go-to, Twin Towers fall and the War on Terror begins.

2002 - Gitmo goes into operation, Euro spreads, MV Prestige, Monsters Ball

2003 - Columbia Disaster, SARS, European heat wave.

2004 - Facebook redefines life as we know it, Google, Tsunamis and Martha Stewart is going to jail.

2005 - Youtube is launched, Pope John Paul II leaves the world, Michael Jackson is in court and Katrina devastates the US.

2006 - Twitter goes live, Pluto gets a demotion, Saddam Hussein is executed.

2007 - Brittney goes over the edge, the iPhone is launched, Live Earth entertains the world.

2008 - First black president of US, Hadron Collider is switched on, Black Monday becomes a household name.

2009 - Death of the king of pop, Ardi the oldest humanoid, Elections in Afghanistan, BRCA testing.

2010 - Worlds tallest building, Pandora becomes a place with big blue indigenous species, JKs saga comes to an end, Gulf oil crisis.

2011 - Osama Bin Laden, Gabby Gifford, Japan is threatened by radiation, Royal weddings and we say good bye to a movie legend Elizabeth Taylor.

2012 - Diamond Jubilee, Curiosity Rover, shootings in Aurora movie theater, Whitney Houston.

2013 - Boston marathon bombing, Meteor lights up sky over Russia, the year of Miley, Pope resigns.

2014 - Maya Angelou dies, Chaos from Russia, Columbus' ship Santa Maria found, Jay Leno finally retires.

2015 - The people take over government building, Harper Lee back in print, Charlie Hebdo, US & Cuba open public travel, Trump for President????

2016 - Who knows! Can't wait to see!

Eagles - Take It Easy
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Up Around the Bend
John Fogerty - Have You Ever Seen the Rain
Eagles - Hotel California
Don Maclane - American Pie
Cam - Burning House
Thomas Rhett - Die a Happy Man
Luke Bryan - Strip it Down
Lennon & Maisey - Call Your Girlfriend
Chris Jansen - Buy Me a Boat

Go Your Own Way

Dear Littler Me,

It's Superbowl Sunday here in 2016, so you know what that means. ABSOLUTELY nothing. The same old thing is going on here in my house. I will say though, I have yet to roll my butt out of bed. I also have the hubby home today (the 1 day a week usually) and he actually served me coffee in bed. I know better than to push for breakfast. Not a good set up to my day imaging what our tiny kitchen would look like after the whole thing. Fifteen years ago you can tolerate the images knowing its the kids but when you become me, imagining the same at the hands of a grown man are a whole different thing.

Writing to you on a Sunday is sometimes difficult because I'm not alone at home and can't blare my music and  "do my thing". So here I am trolling through Google (which I told you about weeks ago) trying to determine which memory I can tell you about today. My computer screen is littered with pictures of PacMan, Culture Club, neon (which you don't wear) and Big Hair (which I'm so glad you don't have).

There is so much of the "this is the 80's" that even though you are living right now through it, you really never took part in.  So, what Did you do? I can tell you that pretty soon you are going to have a week vacation from school for ditching school and sneaking out to a concert in East Hanover. You are going to think you got away with it but.... Sorry kid. Maybe if you can keep your friend from watching MTV in front of her father you might not get in trouble but fat chance of that happening. The concert will be well worth it though so I won't tell you with who and which one.

I can also tell you that you are going to hang out in places you never thought you would and become part of things you could never imagine.  Not every day is going to be fun, not every day is going to be dull. I can promise you at the end of it all when you become me reflecting on where you've been you are going to have one thought.

Damn it was great!

Before you know it you will be me and it feels almost like you have had barely the time to blink in between being you and becoming me. Even the hard days you will look back on and be thankful for where they have brought you. I guess my biggest advice today for you dear younger me is drink it all in and make it your own. Keep doing what you are doing kid. You will be glad you did.

10 Points of Wisdom - Hard Days Are Coming

Dear Littler B,

I was sitting and thinking this morning about what to write to you and it dawned on me, in the almost 25 years that have passed between you becoming me - I have lived enough life for 3 people.  There has been good and there has been bad.  There have been so many times that would break a regular mortal. You/I have just been blessed to have been born with either the spine and fortitude of titanium or just the inability to see defeat in any situation. Only change and progress that might not have been our original goal.

I'm here at the keyboard and splitting mind time with the television while an old (well maybe not old to you) Eddie Murphy movie is on. The Golden Child. He has just gone through the maze to get the knife without spilling a drop of water. That is exactly what the years have been like for me. Somehow though we always seem to make it with minimal water spilled. (go to blockbuster and get the movie, you'll understand)


***************     INSERT SPOILER ALERT HERE     ********************

Hold on to your hat little me, things are about to begin on that road in a very short time.  Something is about to happen to you that is going to rock the foundation of every thing you know.  It seems that today it may be more accepted today - there will even be a really horrible reality show about it in a couple decades. Sometimes it seems as forward thinking as we are, society is also completely  in backwards motion.

You have had plans and imaginings of what you are going to do with your life. Bubble burst-er  that I seem to have become have the last week or so gives me no joy in letting you know that your about to let go of just about every one of them. More than letting go of them, you are actually going to be so much happier that you did.

You are about to become what you hate, a statistic. You are going to be a teenager who is pregnant.  People are not going to understand or be very kind. I promise they will get over it quickly and in a HUGE way.  Give them their time of shock.  Don't freak out. It seems like a ultimate nightmare scenario but it is going to set you on the path for the best possible things you will ever experience even still when you become me. It will also give you some of the absolute worse times, but the best will make up for it and make a lot of the hurt go right out of your mind.

Confusion is about to rule your brain for the next 24 years until you become me, I can tell you that with absolute certainty. Here is a good example.... One of your sons is going to tell you he joined the military in a few years and you spend the next few years not knowing if that was your proudest moment or the moment you hated more than any other. Jury is still out for me so we will have to discover that answer together. At least in weak moments you will always be able to hold over his head that you had to sell your last pair of combat boots for diapers. (Though wise ass that he is I am always half expecting him to show up with a pair of 14 hole oxblood Doc Martins in a gift bag for me one day)







Here are a few words of wisdom in what you are about to face:

1. Don't give up - It's easy to crawl in bed and cry, I know I've done it. You can handle this. When you need to, go ahead and do the cry bit but then put on your big girl pants and get back at it.

2. Laugh - When ever you possibly can and even when you can't.

3. Don't Spank - I tried it one time unfortunately on the child who is a nervous laugh-er, nuf said.

4. Celebrate the small things -  Any chance you can take joy and make a memory.

5. Don't get hung on materialistic things - Things are just things. I can't stress this enough. In years to come your curio cabinets are not populated by statues and plates that will break (and they will - look at Mom's old folks) They will be full of pinewood derby cars, painted minis and construction paper treasures.

6. Soap in the mouth is going to scar you not them - I only did this once when one of your daughters learned a certain word starting with the letter B. I still can't get that 10 seconds out of my head almost 20 years later.

7. National headlines fade - At one point believe it or not you are going to be getting your 15 minutes of fame over a judge determining religion of your children. Cry your tears and move on, the rest of the world will.

8.  Family is everything - Don't shut them out. Ever. They may not always agree with you, but they are always there for you. No matter what the situation.

9. I Love You - Never miss a chance to let anyone know how much you love them. You will never know if it is the last chance you will get.

10. This too shall pass - I leave you with these words from the wisest man I have ever known, Dad. He is a man of few words but when he opens his mouth to speak, always listen. No matter what the situation it is not the end of the world. (at least it hasn't been up until you become me). You will always find a way through things even when you don't think you can.


From a wiser yet still clueless,

Bigger Little B.



Guns N Roses - Live and Let Die
Def Leopard - Animal
Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield
Eagles - Tequila Sunrise
Fleetwood Mac - Dreams
Bob Segar & The Silver Bullet Band - Night Moves
Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight
Eagles - Desperado
The Allman Brothers Band - Midnight Rider
The Steve Miller Band - Take the Money and Run
 Eric Clapton - Layla
Eagles - Peaceful Easy Feeling
The Marshall Tucker Band - Cant You See
The Craig Lewis Band - Change is Gonna Come

I Really Miss MTV

Dear Littler B,

Greetings from across the years. The sun has just barely made its presence known here in Music City, yet here I sit with my 3rd or 4th cup of coffee tapping away at the keys. As a kick in the pants to get my day on I even got dressed and made the walk to the convenience store.



When I got back home I checked my twitter  in a valiant attempt to learn how to use it. (Don't even ask - you'll learn what it is in another couple decades and still will never understand it) One message among many that I received from a young musician caught my eye. It was a link to his video cover of a popular artists song (the cover was much better - trust me).  It was good, really good. It brought me back to once upon a time when I was you and I would spend hours in front of MTV and just get lost in the music. 


I think I was drawn to this message because of what kind of routine I have set myself. Coffee, music, letter and then (the cherry on the cake of my day) the feel good moments of the Ellen Degeneres show. Yep, believe it or not she will become one of the peoples choice for favorite daytime talk shows, go figure.

After looking at the sum of my daily routine it made me think that you would probably roll your eyes at the "old lady"ness of it all, but listen up butter cup.... All these years that have passed between me being you to me being me have really not changed me very much. I despise mornings. No matter how early I went to bed, morning comes and I could linger on my pillow as long as the dreams last.  In my head I am eternally 18.

Needless to say it makes it difficult with a mindset like that to be a grown up, but alas the years I have under my belt that you have yet to see force me to pretend. I am not sure if other adults who are busy in the act of adulting think the same thing.

It would be interesting to ask people and see what their take on it is.  Not that the answer would change me in any way. Some days I truly feel I should get an Oscar or something. I feel like I am only out here playing adult as a role in the production entitled Life on Earth.  I am now about 10 years older than mom is while you read this letter and I really don't feel half as grown up as she was. Maybe it's a personality flaw, maybe its just the typical aversion to doing what you are expected to do. I'm not really sure but I expect I may never understand the concept of "grown-up" like I never understood the concept of hate.  I guess that could be seen as not a bad thing, no?

Well, in the prospect of faking it till I make it I guess I will go tend to some of the urgent tasks that I have been neglecting but I can promise I will be blaring music, singing, dancing and flipping a finger to conformity while I do so.

In youthful exuberance,

Bigger Little B

Songs that kept my ears warm and fuzzy today


Richie Nuzz - Sorry
Michael Jackson - Thriller
Guns N Roses - Sweet Child of Mine
A-Ha - Take On Me
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Culture Club - Karma Chameleon
Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
 Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall
George Michael - Careless Whispers
Roxette - Listen To Your Heart
Queen - Another One Bites the Dust
Toto - Africa

When I Grow Up

Dear Little B,

I know it has been a few days since I wrote to you, I hope you are not too upset with me.  I have had to be away for a few days from my keyboard because I had a project that I had to work on. As I would love to say we are independently wealthy, sadly that is not the case. I spent the last 4 days doing a data job for a manufacturing company. Yesterday morning it ended so I went out last evening to celebrate by taking part in trivia night at a local grill. (Heads up for when you become the yesterday me - try not to celebrate as hard as I did. We might make it through today a lot better.)

Its late in the day today for me to be sitting and writing my letter but I am going to try to make the most of what bit of the day I have left before I have to go cook dinner and pretend that I have been at least a little bit productive during the last 10 hours. Luckily I'm pretty quick at restoring order so usually that is not very difficult. On top of that, your hubby is going to be the kind and forgiving type. Not sure how we got so lucky to find him. Call it many years of you paying it forward finally come to fruition.

Regardless, this brings me to the subject of today's letter. I figured I would in light of my last few days I would talk to you about what you become when you grow up. (I use that term VERY loosely as I'm still truly waiting to grow up) This is a rough letter because I want to try to make it as short as possible but you are going to have a broad and extensive list of trades. A career of trying new careers if you will. It has been fun at times and heart breaking at times. This is you though, always the one who enjoys being challenged and wanting to be able to say "yeah, I did that".



I know most kids have that dream of being something spectacular. One wants to be a doctor, another wants to be a fireman or ballerina, and then there is you who wanted to be a nun. I know that was when you were young because of the concept that you could spend your life devoted to helping people.  The reason I bring all of this up is to illustrate the fact that you wanted one thing then but even now for you, you have evolved and want to be something else entirely.  That is ok and even healthy, so don't worry so much about it.

As you have gotten older, if this letter finds you in the year I hope it will, you have evolved to wanting to be a writer. You even joined the Navy in hopes of going into journalism.  I hate to break your heart, but it is not going to work out quite like you dream.  Don't take it too hard, I promise that even though you don't become what you want you will still feel fulfilled enough to be happy.

If I can tell you one thing that you need to take from high school it is to pay attention in Mr. Lefke's typing class and maybe add in the new computer class that they recently created. I think little me that it has come in
quite handy that Dad is who he is. It will make the task of computer anything come very easily to you and will help you maintain a handle on the job market (at least it has for me so far).

I know that you may not be the things that you dream but please remember how you evolved into wanting to be a nun to wanting to be a writer. You will have many dreams and some of them will even come true, but not if you stop having them. You will evolve many times to come over the next couple decades and if I have anything to do with it there will be several more shades of me before it is time for us to get in the check out line and cash in my chips.

 Here are some of the things you have to look forward to being:

Cashier
Auditor
Application Developer
Web Designer
Color Guard Captain for over a decade
Waitress
Community Leader
Security Officer
President of the United States (only kidding)
Systems Analyst
Wedding Officiant & Reverend
Payroll Specialist
Project Manager
HAZMAT Inspector and Abatement Specialist
Haunted House Witch


Teacher
Mother

and so much more....


Don't ever stop dreaming,

Bigger Little B



Bill Medley - Time of My Life
J. Giles Band - Centerfold
Michael Jackson - Black or White
The Police - Every Breath You Take
Pat Benatar - We Belong
Bryan Adams - Heaven
Simple Minds - Don't You
U2 - With or Without You
Eric Carmen - Hungry Eyes
Motley Crue - Don't Go Away Mad