Theme Reveal - Let the games begin...

Dear Littler B,

I wanted to write to you here as a heads up.  With everything going on with your husband, you have lost a bit of yourself.  Over a month ago I accepted a challenge that the pre-stroke us could have handled without a blink, the post-stroke me has decided that it is something I MUST do for my own sanity.  I will still keep you up to date here and there with how Toby is doing, however I do know I have messed with the space-time continuum already so much by telling you what I have up to now.

To make good on commitments we have made and to get myself back in the game with my letters to you in a huge way. I have accepted not just 1 challenge, but 2.

Crazy 4 Blogging Facebook Group. COME CHECK US OUT!!!!

My friends (and I most definitely consider them that at this point) who I have met and formed a "Girl Tribe" starting with one of the most wonderful virtual friends I have made thus far Heidi @ WomanPulse, as well as another Miranda @ JKLMNAdventure. These girls will be a big support through all of this when you get through the decades and become me.


After brainstorming in our little group we opted to make a larger, more public writing group (blogging specifically, though you won't hear that term for a couple decades) that focuses on encouragement, help and promotion of each other's writing. (When they develop Facebook, come check it out!!

1. Crazy4Blogging Weekly Challenge - Good Health

2. A Post A Day - A to Z

I have also accepted an A-Z challenge through Blogging from A to Z where my posts each day start with the corresponding letter of the alphabet.  Today is April 3 so I am 3 letters behind, but in the next 24 hours I will rectify that situation and go into maintaining mode.

This is going to push us to the limit of our creative ability thus far in letter writing.  Luckily,  challenge 1 is only once a week, so for that day I will be combining the challenge from Crazy4Blogging with my A-Z challenge for the month of April in letters to you so that I do not divert from my true intent. This should be relatively easy as my intention was to teach you dear younger me about things to come. I will be doing that in teaching you about things that you will go on to teach,  

Herbs - Practical and Metaphysical Uses

Don't get worried dear littler me, I will continue to keep you up to date on the other situations that are happening now. I will make sure to do a couple posts a day when I can so that when you do become me, you will be well prepared in as many areas as I can prepare you for.

As always, the wisest words I can leave you to live by...

"Never stop challenging yourself"

Sincerely,

Bigger Little B.

In Perfect Love

Dear Littler Me,

I'm back, did you miss me? One of the things you are going to realize over the years on your way to becoming me is that even the best laid plans sometimes get fouled up.  With my busy week of sick children and divorcing children (read as child, because it is the same one), I completely lost track of the week and the challenge put to me by Heidi of Womanpulse.com.

If you will remember last week, one of your letters (The Business of Being Grown Up) I addressed some advice that I had for you about adulthood.  Heidi posted as well on this subject in her own way in an article on Womanpulse as well as JO-Hanny over at Have a cup of JO-hanny.  More have completed this challenge though I don't have any links as of right now.  I'll come back with those when available.

Today, I have been asked to talk to you about 3 things that I have learned about love.  Wow. Being my age and through the many relationships that you are going to go through, trying to whittle it down to just 3 things is going to be interesting.  Love is a topic I have addressed once or twice before in your letters and I am sure I'm going to touch on it many more times while this temporal channel is open.

I think after listing the wheres and what fors I have come down to some of my best lessons:

1. Compromise

One of the hardest learned lessons for me has been the learning of compromise. I know you think you are all fair and are the queen of compromise but I'm here to tell you now that I'm on the other side of it that you are dead wrong.  Looking back on the battlefields of my love life I have realized that there are more times you win the conversation not because you are right but because you think you are right and your partner is just not willing to fight over it.


This more than anything else is what is going to kill your relationships (other than money) because most of the men you will be with will either be all givers and no take or all takers (more often than not) and no give. 

No matter what shape love comes in, be it love of a significant other or a child you are going to have to learn the lesson of achieving that balance. Hopefully earlier than I did, it will save you from having to live your life on a battlefield like I have.



Blindness

No matter what relationship you are going to go through there is going to be a large level of blindness.  This will be good and bad in turns.

On the bad side, at times you are going to be blind to the way you have allowed yourself to be changed into what the other person thinks you should be.  This is going to be very difficult for you to see over the years.  It will be subtle tweaks until you wake up and realize one day that you just don't even recognize who you have become. You can't relate to the person in the mirror at all.  That kind of love is so soul crushing and unhealthy that you will have to literally shatter everything you know to escape it.

 

Don't worry about it so much though because on the flip side you will reach a level of blindness when it is true love that is good.  Those short timers will have quirks that you just can't take but when it is real you tend to be blind to the little flaws that would at other times annoy the piss out of you in anyone else.  You see the very beauty of the soul that is him in a way that others can not and that will blind you to so very many things. Like a blind person, when you lose one sense the others are intensified and you can see things in a completely different light. The light of love.


3. Love Bites Nah, strike this one and move onto the real #3

3. Forever
 Like the great Beatles sang, love is all you need.  I'm here to tell you on the other side of time that no truer words have ever been said.  Love is the only truly world changing gift we as a species have been given.  Every time you allow yourself to feel it, even when you have moved on down the road you will always take a piece of it with you. From that boy who bought your carnation for valentines day at school to the man who you walked down the aisle to meet with a death grip on your daddy's arm, a piece of them will always be inside of you.

Not only will a piece of each one be inside you, you will perfect it as you go and approach everything in that light.  Friends, children, parents. and life itself.  If there is truly one common thread in everything you are and everything you do it will be that love is the greatest of all.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return" - Moulin Rouge




I promise you it is going to be a rocky road, but I also promise that it will be worth every step, stumble, trip and bounce.






In perfect love,

The Business of Being Grown-up

Dear Littler B,

Good afternoon from a very frazzled frustrated you sitting in 2016. So much to learn and never enough time to do it. I have been put to a "Blog Challenge" which will require me to tailor 4 letters of yours to certain topics.  This should be creative and fun.

http://www.womanpulse.com/2016/02/blogging-challenge-week-one-what-advice.html

Your first letter is a bit of a cheat though, for you/me. The letter today is supposed to be about what advice I would give a child about adulthood.  While I know that has got your bristly hair on your shaved head up, no I don't mean you are a "child" per se, but when you become me in your mid-forties you will realize that 16-18 is so incredibly new.

Every letter I have written to you thus far has been about advice. The things that are coming for you to prepare for. These things (for the most part) are not only things you will experience but things that many at large will go through in the journey of growing up. So, while all of my letters to you are advice I will sum up some of the big hitters.



 

Always Find a Reason to Smile








Life when you are an adult dear little me is full of responsibility. It is not a bad thing. You get to work (which you might not like) but it allows you to have money to buy the things you like. You will be pulled in all different directions to be able to juggle your responsibilities so make sure you find at least one thing to reflect on from your day that will make you smile.






Always Find a Reason to Make Others Smile

Remember, young one. While you are going to be a busy grown up - others will be as well. Do you know how good it feels to have someone compliment you or just be nice to you for no reason at all? It is just as important to give that feeling to other people. Commit a random act of kindness every day, even if it is just a little one. It may be just the thing that someone else needs to completely turn their day around.


Don't Be Afraid to Try Something New

You have so much time ahead of you and so many experiences you will have the opportunity to take part in. Don't be afraid to try something new, it will be what creates the amazing grown up that you will become. It will introduce you to new people. It will teach you things you like and things you don't.

Things I Like

Things I Don't

Take a Mental Picture 

Every chance you get, take a moment to take a mental picture of the things around you and file it in your brain-album. As your pages get filled up and you look back through them you will be amazed by the beautiful moments you have been blessed to take part in.

Don't Be Afraid to Be Yourself

There are so many people who will put expectations on you about who you should be, what you should look like, what you should believe, what you should think. At the end of the day, one of the wonderful things about being a grown up is that YOU are the one who has to live your life. Make it yours!

I have so much more I can tell you, but this letter is getting rather long. Luckily, I get the opportunity to share these and so many more ideas on an almost daily basis.

Here's looking at you kid,

Background Sound

John Mayer - No Such Thing
John Mellencamp - Jack and Diane
Ben Folds - Still Fighting It
Ataris - In This Diary
Miranda Lambert - The House That Built Me
Carrie Underwood - Whenever You Remember
Kenny Chesney - Young
Taylor Swift - Fifteen
Blink 182 - Dammit
Five for Fighting - 100 Years

It Takes a Tribe

Dear Littler B,

I am sitting here writing your letter today and feeling guilty that written to you in a couple days. I know I have been (for the most part) productive in the way of education in the world I've gotten us into - however I have been not so productive in content to provide you insight to what life is like when you become me.

Today's wisdom is coming to you across the decades not from me, but from those I have met through (what you will learn about in time) social media.

At times through your life you are going to be intrigued or inspired to try something new.  It doesn't matter if it is the time you decide to branch off into an unknown religion, learn how to cook, become a programmer, become a mother. All of these things carry the same levels of initiation, insecurity, ignorance, education and enlightenment.  Nothing comes to the average - non-savant Joe like you/I without a great big huge learning curve.

Sometimes along the way you are going to get lucky. You will find yourself in the middle of the village as the idiot who everyone is nice enough to help take care of or encourage and educate. A tribe of people who all have been through the same process and are on various levels of
enlightenment and are willing to share their experiences with you.

Be those experiences good or bad, soak them in dear little me. Every story is a learning experience if you look at it correctly. Learn from those around you what to do, what not to do, what to laugh at, when to work and when to play.  Every person is the wisest person. Wisest in how they have experienced their journey and how they experience this joyful and adventurous carnival ride called Life.

Along that learning process you will (when you are not even looking) become the proverbial butterfly from the creepy crawly caterpillar. Sometimes you will be the student, sometimes the teacher. In time you will go from being the village idiot that you always feel yourself to be into being the wise person that someone will look to for knowledge and inspiration.  I can't promise you will have gotten there yet when you become me, but I can tell you we are somewhere on the journey a little less idiot - a little more wise.

Encouraging you to embrace your village, be one with the tribe,

A big PS. Thank you FB Tribe for being my inspiration today.


Dancing & Frivolity Today Provided by:
Phillip Phillips - Home
Lorde - Royals
Rhianna - Stay
Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know
Phillip Phillips - Raging Fire
Anna Kendrick - Cups
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
John Legend - All of Me
Christina Perri - A Thousand Years

Celebrate The Smalls

Dear Littler B,

First and foremost I need to apologize for yesterday's letter. Fear and panic ruled the day yesterday. I can tell you that even though you have "grown up" (notice that is in quotes), you have not necessarily shed all of your issues. Just traded one set of worries for another. That's part of life. If you didn't worry about something/someone it means you really don't care as much as you think.

You are human. You need to try to remember that. The beautiful perfect imperfection that is humanity. You are going to have days that you doubt, you are going to have (more than your share) of days that you panic, and you are going to have days where you just don't know what to do.

What you need to know is that you are going to have to keep on going and keep on trying.  Things always find a way of working out the way they are supposed to in the end. The results may not take on the shape of the win you expect, however they take on the shape of the win that is supposed to be.  Life is a great big balance. Everything finds a way to even out in the end.

Today, for example it's time to move forward. One of the things that ensures you don't stay stagnant in life is the fact that you adopt early on an attitude of measuring and pushing yourself. You set goals. I can not begin to tell you how well this will serve you over the course of my last 25 years.  Not just the big things like most people do, but the little things.



The most important aspect of these goals is that you let yourself celebrate achieving each one. I'm not saying go spend a lot of money and go crazy because you hit a daily quota but RECOGNIZE!  So many people don't know how important it is to your self-worth to allow yourself to do that simple yet important thing! No matter how small or how large, you set an achievement - give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back!

While these letters have been intended for you, I set myself a goal. I determined that if these letters had fallen into the hands of 2500 other people I would celebrate it by transferring these letters over to a dedicated web site instead of a generic website designed to house letters like this for many people. It is an exciting day for me. I am not quite sure what it is going to look like yet, how it is going to
operate or if it is a wise move but I can't wait to see where the next leg of this journey takes us.

How am I going to celebrate? I'm going to award myself with a few hours away from the computer to walk the trails at the V.A. and enjoy the non-digital sun, the non-mp3 sounds of the birds (don't worry you'll know what that is in a few years) and the non-photoshopped absolutely beautiful people of the town.  In essence, I'm giving myself a day off.

Celebrate, dear littler me. Celebrate the big achievements and the small. You will live a much happier life if you do.

Putting on my shoes and taking off,

Today's Celebration Music Provided By

Kool & The Gang - Celebrate
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup
Smash Mouth - All Star
Bachman Turner Overdrive - Takin Care of Business
Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
Katy Perry - Firework
Black Eyed Peas - I Got a Feeling
Kenny Loggins - Footloose
Madonna - Holiday

Friends...

Dear Littler B,

It is approaching lunchtime very fast here today and I have yet to get my message out to you.  We had quite an evening of it here. Last week was rent so every penny went to that. Sadly that meant we missed the electric bill by 1 day and had to go without power for the night in 17 degree weather. It was shaping up to be a very long evening. I'm not here to talk to you today about money troubles though (which you will have plenty of thanks to the local job market) but to talk to you about how we still slept in a warm bed with a warm meal in our stomachs.

One of the things that have been constant in your life is that somehow you are going to meet the best people in the world. The people you are going to be friends with over the years are going to have the biggest hearts that you could imagine. They have helped you survive in your roughest times over the years. Some out of the desire just to help, without expectations of reciprocation. You will know them when they come (mostly).

Last night was a great example. I know you will have a long time till you get to last night but, maybe when you get there you will remember what I told you so you don't worry as much as I did yesterday. A gentleman who you befriend about a year before I start writing to you is going to be one of your best friends when you are me.  You will meet him when you are going to the V.A. to visit your son. When he is out of the hospital he will move in with you for a little while until a lot of hard work gets him an apartment in the same complex.

You will have several people move in with you over the years because your motto is if you have $1 you will give someone else $2. Like the time you will make all those Easter baskets for the gang at the VA Hospital yet go without sustainable food for a good 2 weeks.  Maybe it's your belief in paying things forward, but probably not. You give to people not expecting to get anything back except the joy of knowing it makes others happy.  Especially your weak spot of veterans. Keep this trait. It will be the center of joy and amazing memories for a long time.

In all, the most important thing to remember is to be the best kind of friend you can be. Not because you expect anything (though I know you don't - because you are a stubborn mule and don't usually let people know when you are having a hard time), but because they all deserve it. They (the friends you will make) have been such a rock in the storm that is going to be your life. 

Outside of that, the only thing that I give you as far as today's advice is to LET them be your friend. You know how much you like the feeling of helping people? Your true friends also have the right to feel that feeling so when they get adamant (and they will) within reason, be ok with accepting help. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Warmly yours,

Bigger Little B



Today's earworms brought to you by

Cam - Burning House
Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County
Alan Jackson - Don't Rock the JukeBox
Alan Jackson - Chattahoochie
Garth Brooks - The Dance
George Strait - Carrying Your Love With Me
Toby Keith - Should've Been a Cowboy
Kenny Rogers - Lady
John Michael Montgomery - I Swear
Dixie Chicks - There's Your Trouble
Shania Twain - Any Man of Mine
Lone Star - Amazed
Tim McGraw - It's Your Love
Vince Gill - I Still Believe in you
Brooks & Dunn - My Maria
Reba McIntyre - Is There Life Out There
Tim McGraw - I Like It, I Love It
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
Garth Brooks - The Thunder Rolls
Randy Travis - Love Without End Amen
Michael W. Smith - Friends

Brief History of Your Future

Dear Littler Me,

Hi there from a windy Monday in 2016. I've got Hulu playing in the background, coffee in a cup next to me and a complete blank space between my ears. I just can't seem to kick it into gear no matter how I try.

You are going to have a whole lot of days like this when motivation just seems to be no where in sight. Somehow, we can usually push through it but I'm thinking today may not be one of those days.  That leaves me with the conundrum of what to write to you today about. So many memories, so little time.

I don't know how long this channel to you will be open so I've been trying to tell you about as many of the the big and small things that I can.  I've really hit on some of the big ones... Joining the Navy, teen and pregnant, marriage, multiple kids, children in the military, Nashville.... and so on. Maybe today I will hit on some of the not so deep things. A little bit of years to come for you in a brief list.

Enjoy!

Bigger Little B

1991 - Stay away from anyone named Jeffrey Dahlmer, heartbreak over the British family, WWW coming!

1992 - Teflon Don, Sammy the Bull and Amy Fisher are going to be big names, Say goodbye to Johnny Carson.

1993 - Religious fanatics in Texas, Dinosaurs in the Movies, World Trade Center, women in combat and Bobbitt becomes a verb.

1994 - No world series, King of Pop marries into King of Rock's family, we say goodbye to Nixon, Cobain & Jackie O

1995 - Netscape, first widespread GUI, OJ gets away and the legacy of Jerry Garcia.

1996 - Una-bomber, Nintendo64, Dolly the sheep, softball in the Olympics.

1997 - An independent Hong Kong, Heavens Gate, the world learns about quidditch, the world mourns Princess Di.



1998 - Monica and the POTUS, McGuire & Sosa race each other, ISS and women around the world celebrate the invention of Viagra.

1999 - Columbine, Pokemon, Y2K apocalypse scare, Dream Team is formed

2000 - Putin appointed, GWB elected, the real Slim Shady stood up, Big Brother comes to the waves.

2001 - Wikipedia becomes a go-to, Twin Towers fall and the War on Terror begins.

2002 - Gitmo goes into operation, Euro spreads, MV Prestige, Monsters Ball

2003 - Columbia Disaster, SARS, European heat wave.

2004 - Facebook redefines life as we know it, Google, Tsunamis and Martha Stewart is going to jail.

2005 - Youtube is launched, Pope John Paul II leaves the world, Michael Jackson is in court and Katrina devastates the US.

2006 - Twitter goes live, Pluto gets a demotion, Saddam Hussein is executed.

2007 - Brittney goes over the edge, the iPhone is launched, Live Earth entertains the world.

2008 - First black president of US, Hadron Collider is switched on, Black Monday becomes a household name.

2009 - Death of the king of pop, Ardi the oldest humanoid, Elections in Afghanistan, BRCA testing.

2010 - Worlds tallest building, Pandora becomes a place with big blue indigenous species, JKs saga comes to an end, Gulf oil crisis.

2011 - Osama Bin Laden, Gabby Gifford, Japan is threatened by radiation, Royal weddings and we say good bye to a movie legend Elizabeth Taylor.

2012 - Diamond Jubilee, Curiosity Rover, shootings in Aurora movie theater, Whitney Houston.

2013 - Boston marathon bombing, Meteor lights up sky over Russia, the year of Miley, Pope resigns.

2014 - Maya Angelou dies, Chaos from Russia, Columbus' ship Santa Maria found, Jay Leno finally retires.

2015 - The people take over government building, Harper Lee back in print, Charlie Hebdo, US & Cuba open public travel, Trump for President????

2016 - Who knows! Can't wait to see!

Eagles - Take It Easy
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Up Around the Bend
John Fogerty - Have You Ever Seen the Rain
Eagles - Hotel California
Don Maclane - American Pie
Cam - Burning House
Thomas Rhett - Die a Happy Man
Luke Bryan - Strip it Down
Lennon & Maisey - Call Your Girlfriend
Chris Jansen - Buy Me a Boat

Go Your Own Way

Dear Littler Me,

It's Superbowl Sunday here in 2016, so you know what that means. ABSOLUTELY nothing. The same old thing is going on here in my house. I will say though, I have yet to roll my butt out of bed. I also have the hubby home today (the 1 day a week usually) and he actually served me coffee in bed. I know better than to push for breakfast. Not a good set up to my day imaging what our tiny kitchen would look like after the whole thing. Fifteen years ago you can tolerate the images knowing its the kids but when you become me, imagining the same at the hands of a grown man are a whole different thing.

Writing to you on a Sunday is sometimes difficult because I'm not alone at home and can't blare my music and  "do my thing". So here I am trolling through Google (which I told you about weeks ago) trying to determine which memory I can tell you about today. My computer screen is littered with pictures of PacMan, Culture Club, neon (which you don't wear) and Big Hair (which I'm so glad you don't have).

There is so much of the "this is the 80's" that even though you are living right now through it, you really never took part in.  So, what Did you do? I can tell you that pretty soon you are going to have a week vacation from school for ditching school and sneaking out to a concert in East Hanover. You are going to think you got away with it but.... Sorry kid. Maybe if you can keep your friend from watching MTV in front of her father you might not get in trouble but fat chance of that happening. The concert will be well worth it though so I won't tell you with who and which one.

I can also tell you that you are going to hang out in places you never thought you would and become part of things you could never imagine.  Not every day is going to be fun, not every day is going to be dull. I can promise you at the end of it all when you become me reflecting on where you've been you are going to have one thought.

Damn it was great!

Before you know it you will be me and it feels almost like you have had barely the time to blink in between being you and becoming me. Even the hard days you will look back on and be thankful for where they have brought you. I guess my biggest advice today for you dear younger me is drink it all in and make it your own. Keep doing what you are doing kid. You will be glad you did.

I Really Miss MTV

Dear Littler B,

Greetings from across the years. The sun has just barely made its presence known here in Music City, yet here I sit with my 3rd or 4th cup of coffee tapping away at the keys. As a kick in the pants to get my day on I even got dressed and made the walk to the convenience store.



When I got back home I checked my twitter  in a valiant attempt to learn how to use it. (Don't even ask - you'll learn what it is in another couple decades and still will never understand it) One message among many that I received from a young musician caught my eye. It was a link to his video cover of a popular artists song (the cover was much better - trust me).  It was good, really good. It brought me back to once upon a time when I was you and I would spend hours in front of MTV and just get lost in the music. 


I think I was drawn to this message because of what kind of routine I have set myself. Coffee, music, letter and then (the cherry on the cake of my day) the feel good moments of the Ellen Degeneres show. Yep, believe it or not she will become one of the peoples choice for favorite daytime talk shows, go figure.

After looking at the sum of my daily routine it made me think that you would probably roll your eyes at the "old lady"ness of it all, but listen up butter cup.... All these years that have passed between me being you to me being me have really not changed me very much. I despise mornings. No matter how early I went to bed, morning comes and I could linger on my pillow as long as the dreams last.  In my head I am eternally 18.

Needless to say it makes it difficult with a mindset like that to be a grown up, but alas the years I have under my belt that you have yet to see force me to pretend. I am not sure if other adults who are busy in the act of adulting think the same thing.

It would be interesting to ask people and see what their take on it is.  Not that the answer would change me in any way. Some days I truly feel I should get an Oscar or something. I feel like I am only out here playing adult as a role in the production entitled Life on Earth.  I am now about 10 years older than mom is while you read this letter and I really don't feel half as grown up as she was. Maybe it's a personality flaw, maybe its just the typical aversion to doing what you are expected to do. I'm not really sure but I expect I may never understand the concept of "grown-up" like I never understood the concept of hate.  I guess that could be seen as not a bad thing, no?

Well, in the prospect of faking it till I make it I guess I will go tend to some of the urgent tasks that I have been neglecting but I can promise I will be blaring music, singing, dancing and flipping a finger to conformity while I do so.

In youthful exuberance,

Bigger Little B

Songs that kept my ears warm and fuzzy today


Richie Nuzz - Sorry
Michael Jackson - Thriller
Guns N Roses - Sweet Child of Mine
A-Ha - Take On Me
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Culture Club - Karma Chameleon
Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
 Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall
George Michael - Careless Whispers
Roxette - Listen To Your Heart
Queen - Another One Bites the Dust
Toto - Africa

When I Grow Up

Dear Little B,

I know it has been a few days since I wrote to you, I hope you are not too upset with me.  I have had to be away for a few days from my keyboard because I had a project that I had to work on. As I would love to say we are independently wealthy, sadly that is not the case. I spent the last 4 days doing a data job for a manufacturing company. Yesterday morning it ended so I went out last evening to celebrate by taking part in trivia night at a local grill. (Heads up for when you become the yesterday me - try not to celebrate as hard as I did. We might make it through today a lot better.)

Its late in the day today for me to be sitting and writing my letter but I am going to try to make the most of what bit of the day I have left before I have to go cook dinner and pretend that I have been at least a little bit productive during the last 10 hours. Luckily I'm pretty quick at restoring order so usually that is not very difficult. On top of that, your hubby is going to be the kind and forgiving type. Not sure how we got so lucky to find him. Call it many years of you paying it forward finally come to fruition.

Regardless, this brings me to the subject of today's letter. I figured I would in light of my last few days I would talk to you about what you become when you grow up. (I use that term VERY loosely as I'm still truly waiting to grow up) This is a rough letter because I want to try to make it as short as possible but you are going to have a broad and extensive list of trades. A career of trying new careers if you will. It has been fun at times and heart breaking at times. This is you though, always the one who enjoys being challenged and wanting to be able to say "yeah, I did that".



I know most kids have that dream of being something spectacular. One wants to be a doctor, another wants to be a fireman or ballerina, and then there is you who wanted to be a nun. I know that was when you were young because of the concept that you could spend your life devoted to helping people.  The reason I bring all of this up is to illustrate the fact that you wanted one thing then but even now for you, you have evolved and want to be something else entirely.  That is ok and even healthy, so don't worry so much about it.

As you have gotten older, if this letter finds you in the year I hope it will, you have evolved to wanting to be a writer. You even joined the Navy in hopes of going into journalism.  I hate to break your heart, but it is not going to work out quite like you dream.  Don't take it too hard, I promise that even though you don't become what you want you will still feel fulfilled enough to be happy.

If I can tell you one thing that you need to take from high school it is to pay attention in Mr. Lefke's typing class and maybe add in the new computer class that they recently created. I think little me that it has come in
quite handy that Dad is who he is. It will make the task of computer anything come very easily to you and will help you maintain a handle on the job market (at least it has for me so far).

I know that you may not be the things that you dream but please remember how you evolved into wanting to be a nun to wanting to be a writer. You will have many dreams and some of them will even come true, but not if you stop having them. You will evolve many times to come over the next couple decades and if I have anything to do with it there will be several more shades of me before it is time for us to get in the check out line and cash in my chips.

 Here are some of the things you have to look forward to being:

Cashier
Auditor
Application Developer
Web Designer
Color Guard Captain for over a decade
Waitress
Community Leader
Security Officer
President of the United States (only kidding)
Systems Analyst
Wedding Officiant & Reverend
Payroll Specialist
Project Manager
HAZMAT Inspector and Abatement Specialist
Haunted House Witch


Teacher
Mother

and so much more....


Don't ever stop dreaming,

Bigger Little B



Bill Medley - Time of My Life
J. Giles Band - Centerfold
Michael Jackson - Black or White
The Police - Every Breath You Take
Pat Benatar - We Belong
Bryan Adams - Heaven
Simple Minds - Don't You
U2 - With or Without You
Eric Carmen - Hungry Eyes
Motley Crue - Don't Go Away Mad

Even A Shade Of Mom

Dear Little B,

Today is a special day so I decided to do something special.  It's Mom's birthday, so here I sit playing Celtic music ....You are going to LOVE Pandora...., drinking coffee and remembering all the things that Mom will do for you. (and there will be a lot) This woman, who at a tender teenage year married and started the journey that you would join several days later along with your 4 sisters.

Mom is a tough bird who never loses that soft edge. If there is one thing I regret the most in life, its that I was never able to be half the mother she was and is. I don't say that because she was perfect (which she was in my eyes) but because no matter what is going to happen she is going to keep it together. So, here comes today's advice.

Your children are not going to be children long. You are going to have times you want to rip your hair out. You are going to want to scream at the top of your lungs. You are going to want to sit and cry and say "I can't do this!!!" but you will never think or say you wish you hadn't. Roll with the punches and learn to laugh.

One time, for example; you are going to be driving to work about an hour away in the horrible NJ traffic and you will think your oldest at 3 is sleeping peacefully like an angel in the back. HEADS UP! What he is really doing is using bright red lipstick that he pulled out of your purse to draw on as much of his face and your powder blue interior of your first car. If you hadn't been late for work and just pulling to a park at daycare you might have been able to find the situation as funny as I do now looking back on it. That one will be the devil himself and an absolute angel all rolled into one.


Little B, listen to me and heed my words here. They are going to challenge you both physically, financially and without equal emotionally. There will be times when you won't sleep for worrying about one of them being sick or not having enough to eat. There will also be times when your heart seems so full to bursting you couldn't imagine you could take any more. When you become me, you relish every bit of those times - bad and good alike. Even when they become horrible teenagers and you can never do any right.

Time with your children is going to be short, savor every single second. Include them in everything you do. Let them help you make dinner even if it will take twice as long as be twice as hard to clean up. It will help you on your journey to becoming even half the woman she is and even more it will give your own kids those moments to remember.

Be honest with yourself even if you can't be with everyone else (like that time you are going to be chasing a rainbow in Parsippany with the kids and are going to hit the car in front of you with Mom's car). Make memories with your kids because in the end, like it or not, if all works well they will leave and those memories will surround you when they no longer have the time to do so. Enjoy your time and keep a sense of humor and strive to be even a shade of mom.

Lipsticklessly yours,

Bigger Little B

The Corrs - Runaway
Six Pence None the Richer - Kiss Me
Sophie B. Hawkins - As I Lay Me Down
Gaelic Storm - The Devil Went Down to Doolin
Paddy Reily - The Town I Loved So Well
The High Kings - The Wild Rover (No Nay Never)
The Dubliners - The Partin' Glass
Foster & Allen - Maggie
Paddy Riley - The Old Refrain
The Irish Rovers - The Black Velvet Band
The Dubliners - Whiskey in the Jar
Sharon Shannon - The Gallway Girl
The High Kings - Red Is The Rose
 The High Kings - Will Ye Go Lassie?
The Clancy Boys - Wild Colonial Boy bedb821fa30d00a3cce60ed5fb7bca0635e3f0952f990be0ee

Don't Go Status Quo

Dear Littler B,

Here I sit tapping away at this keyboard when I realize there is so much more I should be doing, procrastination however is one of your enduring qualities on the journey of you becoming me. Luckily it's early in the morning and we have plenty of time to get up off our bums and rectify that situation. It's not like anyone is coming to visit and the hubby won't be home from work for hours.

It's amazing what an instant gratification world we live in right now. In the old days if you wanted a meal you worked hard on it and it always took quite time to prepare. Today, you just pop it in the microwave and it's there. Spend your time doing things "you" things and you can cobble together last minute an amazing number of things. In this everybody gets a prize society it really makes self motivation feel like a huge undertaking.  Kids have to bring calculators to school for math and they don't even teach cursive writing anymore! If we don't challenge, those who struggle won't feel left out.

This thought entered my head after a commercial was on this morning for an automobile company where a child's winning team got a trophy for some sport and it said "Participation" on it. The father decided that wouldn't do and he pulls the plaque off and writes "Champs" in its place.  I'm sad to say that these things have begun happening because of our generation. We've begun a system of inclusion that really has led to a lack of striving for success. Why bust your ass if you will get a trophy regardless? I know every generation has their fear for the future stories and until this letter I didn't realize I have become one of them.

 You are going to win two trophies in your life. One will be the one you already have for softball back in '84 and the other will happen many years from now in a bowling league. While they are both things you have earned, the bowling trophy is most definitely the favorite. Why you ask? The answer is simple, it may be small but perched atop the typical marble base is the shape of a golden horses ass. You will get it for being the absolute worst bowler there. The wonderful thing though about that trophy is that you will use it as a motivation to do better and come in a heck of a lot closer to the first place in subsequent years.

I guess the point I am trying to make in all of this is not to accept the status quo. Don't go meekly into the night. There is only one person who can make you accomplish wonderful things and that is you. Don't be afraid to do that. Take this letter out often dear little me and use it to inspire you to do something.

 Do something new, something exciting, something difficult and something that takes practice as often as you possibly can. If you don't how will you ever know what you are good at? I have lived by this method and as a happy accident along the way I have learned to play guitar, paint, cook, teach, sing on stage, fix cars, write a computer program and so much more. Above all it has taught me so much about myself, the incredible spirit of perseverance and fortitude that you don't believe we have.

I am going to go now and take my own advice and self motivate my butt to a mop and dishwasher even if no one is coming to visit. I am visiting me. 

Do you know what happens if you don't try? 

Absolutely nothing.

Manic Monday Music
Eagles - Hotel California
Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence
Rolling Stones - Paint it Black 
Heart - Alone
Tears for Fears - Shout 
Scorpion - Rock You Like A Hurricaine
Police - Dont Stand So Close to Me
Tom Petty - Free Fallin'
Guns N' Roses - Paradise City
Leann Womak - Dance

Things You'll Miss... And Not So Much...

Dear Littler B,

The last couple of letters I've written to you have been a little heavy at times so I though I'd make this one a bit lighter.  I'm sitting here watching a stand up comedy special of Jim Breuer. (don't worry, he will be there in only a few years for you) You are not going to like him at all when he first comes out but the older he gets, the funnier he gets.  It's a Sunday and I'm trying to fill the hours until football comes on and planning for a day of games, beer and pizza.

Having written all that I realized these are things I NEVER would have done when I was you. I'm sure you are pacing around in circles, hands on your head shouting "Oh the horror of it all! THIS is what is to become of me?" but it's not so bad I promise. This imagery in my head brings me to the subject of today's letter. I figured I would make you a fun little list of some of the things you have to look forward to on your journey of you becoming me.

Things You Will Miss
Shaving Your Head - Something you will miss very much because not only is it an act of freedom and individuality, it's damn easy to do. Never a bad hair day with that much hair.

Videos on MTV - Sadly, as of the writing of this there are multiple MTV stations and I don't believe any of them have videos. For a little while they will have an actual competitor in Vh1, though all those channels now are over-run by reality shows so you gave up on them long ago from my perspective.

Original Movies - Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of really great movies in my time however a vast majority of them are remakes of movies from your time. One good thing is that computer graphics are going to make movies so realistic they will be completely enthralling.

Not having real responsibility - I remember what it is like to be you and yes school sucks but when you are me you'd do just about anything to go back. It is all on you whether you succeed or fail. If the power is out or you have no roof over your head it's your own fault.

Riding in cars with friends for no reason at all - I'm not saying I can't do this now, but it will lose it's appeal for you. Nothing says wonderful freedom like cruising around in Helga, windows open, music blaring no place to go and no place to have to be.

New Jersey - The Beach - Familiar places - While you are going to be going to some amazing places you will never have a love or connection to anywhere like you do home.

Not being afraid to hang out in NYC on your own - Some of your best times right now are hanging out in the city and feeling invincible. Call it the fear of breaking as I've gotten old or the concept that the internet (we talked about that the other day) has made you aware of just how heinous the crime can be. 

REAL music - I know this is all relative. Those who grew up in the 50s thought Dion was the shit, you will forever think music from the 80s was the real deal. The music they come out with now is so manufactured and connived that you don't care much for it. At one point big conglomerates actually put together something called "boy bands" and at another they have talent shows that society obsesses over. Think Star Search but on a global scale. No true grit and from the streets musicians who play soul jerking music.

The feeling that you could to change the world - You feel like a giant and the whole world is your oyster. You are going to make a difference. You can do anything. You will realize as time goes by that you are who you are. While that is good to know yourself, you also know things you are not.

Party Lines - While the internet has allowed you to converse with people all over the world you will never have that initial awe and enjoyment as you did spending late hours meeting people outside your area like that guy from Red Bank. The first feeling of the world being a bigger place than what you knew.

Being a Snarky Wise Ass - This one is a pretty big deal. You are witty and say what you think. When you are me, not only are you too "grown-up" to do that but the world has turned to a "you hurt my feelings, you should be punished" kind of place. People are pansies...

Writing Letters / Pen Pals - This is a lost art. I know when I was you writing was a very large part of my life. Journals, poems, stories and letters that you would send and someone would actually reply. With the release worldwide of the internet no one does this anymore. I especially miss pen pals. The whole getting to know you and glimpse of a life unknown. Now with social media you know everyone's life so it is info overload.

Imagination - Creativity and imagination are abundant because you create to fit your situation. Now if you have an issue you go and look up something someone else has already done and put out there. It takes the drive to come up with new things out of a lot of people.




Things To Look Forward To
Long Hair - I know that doesn't seem like something you want but believe me the guys like it. I will say that if I had to take my looks when I was you to the smokin hot goddess I've turned into now, there would be no contest. (only kidding)

Google - This is going to be a place to go on the internet where you can find out just about anything about anything. It's going to be a tool that you love because anytime you want to know even the littlest fact you can "google" it and feel like you are so much smarter than you really are.

Digital Photos - You are going to be able to take thousands upon thousands of pictures and fit them all on a little device no bigger than your thumb. This is great for memories and making those collages you like. Be careful however, you sometimes end up taking so many photos for memories that you don't always soak in the experience you are supposed to be having like at Graceland.

Social Media - This is a double edge sword. Social media is a type of location on the internet that people have an account and post things about their life and chat. It will unite you with a lot of people you haven't seen in a long time and your loved ones that you don't get to see as often as you'd like. On the other hand a lot of people have a tendency to over share and start stupid battles. It takes the personal aspect out of things.

Flatscreen TVs - This goes with technology which I've touched on before. Technology is going to make things a lot simpler and "smarter". Like in a lot of those futuristic TV shows you will have a TV that hangs on the wall and is so thin that you can lift it on your own but will be larger than your dresser. The quality of the picture is amazingly lifelike too. 

Flying Cars - Ok, what talk of 25 years from now doesn't including flying cars eh? Nah, I just threw this one in here to screw with you. They STILL haven't come out with these, however they are still working on hoverboards and they have come up with a place that you can order almost anything called Amazon that has little flying device that can deliver to most areas an hour after you order something.

Living as a grown up - This sucks and is awesome all at the same time. While I complained before about not having responsibilities, I didn't mention that by gaining such responsibilities allows you to go where ever you want because you answer to you. If you want to drink alcohol you do. If you want to fly to Mexico you do. If you want to go to a certain nude beach and/or walk around naked you do. If you want to decorate your walls with comic books and movie posters, you will.

Exploring new places - You are going to be the grown up so you will get to decide where you are going. You have been a lot of places and countries (though not as many as you want). Remember 8th grade when the Washington DC field trip seemed like it was so far away?
Having children - This is probably the best thing that will ever happen to you. You can't understand the hole you have in your heart until they are here and you can't imagine how you didn't realize it. Though now at my age they don't make much time for me you would not have missed out on them for the world.


Netflix / Hulu and more than 15 channels - Ok, Netflix and Hulu are internet sites that you can go to and call up almost any kind of movie or tv show when ever you want on your computer, phone or television through your game console (yes, Atari is great but just you wait!). There is always something you want to watch. On top of this I believe cable now that it is digital has over 1500 channels though a lot of them are crap.


There is so much more that I could put in this letter but I don't want to be completely full of "spoilers" (a phrase to look forward to when you meet your good friend Dr. River Song. :-) ) 

In anticipation and fond memory,


Bigger Little B