Tuesday, February 16, 2016

The Bullies

Dear Littler B,

I'm sitting on my bed instead of in my office because I got thinking and the keyboard wouldn't wait.  Coffee is next to me and the sound of the truck beeps from the garbage man are coming from the parking lot outside, Drew Carey from the TV drones on in the background and the puppy is snoring half on my lap. (I say puppy, though he is really a little old man)


I'm not sure what made me think of this subject today, it might have been a commercial half heard in my sleep or just a memory flashing through my dreams but bullies are something that you have had to deal with pretty much before you know what the word means. I'm not sure what advice I can give you or anyone whose hands this may fall in, but I know what is truth for you.  In a way you are luckier than most in that you are the 4th child of 5 so you were able to be primed with a thicker skin than some.

There have been many instances you have already lived through, like getting hit in the head with a pan by one sister and having your goldfish boiled (I know you still remember that, because I do... IT WAS AN ACCIDENT). The years that you got picked on after moving from the belly of the south to New Jersey and having that thick southern drawl pour out of your mouth.

It's truly a double genetic whammy that you were born to be not much taller than the limit of a little person and graced with a name that rhymes with "midget". Even that best friend of yours from the swings that lets you sneak out of class with Helga (her car) to go get pizza for the lunch table started out as a bully if you remember correctly.

Thick skin or no, it still hurts.... THEN.


There are going to be many more instances to come so strap in and get ready for it. Like the time you will be at a dance for Halloween and someone will take the mask off your dancing partner to see "who would dance with her", or the time you are going to be grabbed by your hair and dragged on the old gym floor. (Though I still don't regret it resulting in shaving your head and showing up in combat boots from then on out). It will happen only very rarely when you are an adult, from a woman at work who will jump over your desk at you, from your own children, from people you thought you loved. I won't kid you.


I can't tell you why people are like they are, maybe they feel entitled, they feel better than you, maybe they feel less of a person, maybe they don't eve realize they are doing it. It is a fact of life that is a big topic in popular culture today made worse by the invention you have yet to learn - social media.  In all there is one thing that I can tell you that is very important for you to remember. There is only one thing in all of it that you can control.

YOU

Giving in and being hurt, doing something stupid will only put the champion belt on them. It will allow them to win. I promise you that it gets better, because you do. The immature will mature for the most part, but the best thing is that after school you will leave those people behind and be able to surround yourself by the people you deserve. As dad is famous for saying "This too shall pass".

If that doesn't help, let me from the future let you know.... Social media is also good for something else. I am able to see those people who may hold you down and tell you the beautiful become not so, the ones who got fat or bald or both. (Is that a little evil of me?)

Physical beauty only stays so long, popularity only stays so long but the love and light you have inside you can last forever if you let it.

Lots of love from a stronger and happier,

Bigger Little B



Today's Musical Accompaniment 

Taylor Swift - Mean
Dixie Chicks - Goodbye Earl
Hillary Duff - Fly
Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County
Blink 182 - Adam's Song
Mark Wills - Don't Laugh at Me
Morgan Fraizer - Hey Bully
Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
Matt Kennon - You Had to Pick on Me
Selena Gomez - Who Says
Bars and Melody - Hopeful





16 comments:

ugh well I was picked on ALOT lol Had bad teeth and was super quiet and shy (hard to believe huh) whats funny is when these ppl connected years later via facebook they were like you were so funny in school (wtf look, did you talk to me) one former bully looked at my current pictures and had the nerve to question whether that was really me in the pic..yeah still hatin I thought. btw I look much younger lol

Isn't it amazing how time changes things? Today, as a matter of fact I am "friends" with the person mentioned above who dragged me across the gym and many others on Facebook. Memories fade. I just wish those who suffer through it today know - it gets so much better!

While I'm more of a Misfits chick, Taylor Swift has it right.... The hater's gonna hate hate hate...

Just wanna leave a quick "thanks a lot" for this great reading ! I really love your style , recognized quiet a lot ! Very entertaining write up !

yeah tho I realize bullying has turned into alot more today, it does stay with you somewhat

Thank you very much! This is a subject that is so dear to my heart.

This is a great subject because no matter how old you are, there will always be petty bullies out there. People who are obviously not satisfied with their own lives so havet o nit-pick at others in order to feel good. I don't have time for these kinds of people anymore and I find that standing u for yourself immediately tends to really put them in their place. Most bullies are actually quite weak and cant stand confrontation!

Great post! I love the musical accompaniment section too

It does take time to grow into yourself...unfortunate it takes so many trials.

I found your post from the Facebook Group. Great picture of your younger self...Everyone has that photo, so it makes you want to click and find out more! My Best, Becky

It is so sad, but so true. It is hard for someone who is getting bullied to step outside of the pain to ask the question "why" people are doing it. Turn the tables if you will. Many years later it has instilled a level of pity in me for those who picked on me. It didn't help that I am all of 5'1" and spent most of my life with the moniker "Bridget the Midget". LOL. Today I LOVE being little, people always underestimate me and I love the look of surprise I get. ;-)

Thank you so much! Such great music out there on the subject that wasn't out there when I was going through it! Kudos to society for realizing it is something that needs to be addressed!

Nothing wonderful is ever easy. Those who get bullied are often the most loving, giving, kind and amazing people who just don't know it yet. Practice makes perfect! It is hard to see through the lies, but if so many would it would be breathtaking the diamonds that are hammered out of the coal of tolerance.

Haha. Thank you Becky. I have SO many of those pictures. I had to go all the way back to 4th grade circa 1983ish to find one that I at least had both eyes open. School photos were such a bane of my existence. I don't think I had a good one until 12th grade.

I think if I could write a letter to my younger self I'd let her know that it gets better and the lessons learned will equip me to equip my children. I'd tell myself to smile and laugh more and to take risks because who cares how it turns out it would be fun.

I agree Sabrina. The one thing I wish I could make people understand is that IT GETS BETTER! My experiences have been instrumental in talking with my own children and things they went through.

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