Wednesday, February 24, 2016


Dear Littler B,

I have been mostly positive in the letters that I have been sending to you through this funnel of time, but I know that you are fully aware that all your days are not going to be able to be sunny and you have to be ok with that. So here is a letter about the days that are not.

It is amazing how the people who know you the most understand you the least. I don't know if it is that they know who you are and expect you to make special dispensation for them or if they just decided to get close to you so they can get to know you without having to do the work of truly learning the balance of life - coexistence with you. 

Coexistence is a loaded subject. It means you live in harmony with them. It is a tender balance, you give they take - they give you take. The teeter totter that is life. It may not be an easy state to achieve but it is one that is well worth it.  You are going to become so very used to giving without taking, and finding someone who is willing to give is going to be more than a challenge even when you get my age.  If someone truly cares about you they will care about all of you. The perfection and the imperfection.  One day you will be someone's song bird and another the other one you are with will only get irritated by you putting on music and getting lost in it.  One will encourage you to get on that stage no matter what kind of ass you will make of yourself, the others will keep you in the living room, kitchen, mold of what is expected.

Every time you spend with someone new needs to be a whole new set of rules and a whole new you. The old conceptions of who you are have to be redeveloped while maintaining the core of who you are.  Not an easy task to say the least.  Those who are meant to play a big part in your life will understand those things about you. You will not have to be ok with losing so much of who you are that you don't recognize yourself in the mirror.  They will accept you for who you are and not who fits into their concept of what a companion should be. 

While I can tell you that you are going to have some amazing times with amazing people who want to understand you, be with you for you and accept and incorporate the real you into their own being; I can also tell you there are going to be those pretenders.  You will know them in an instant even when you want to pretend you don't. They are the ones who will want you to take care of them, be their trophy, be their mother, be their bedroom entertainment (yes believe it or not), be their comic relief. Don't give them the time of day because if you do you know you will give them a piece of your heart when they don't deserve it.

You will find that one eventually that will be with you for you, one that will encourage you to be you in all the dorky magnificence that you can be.  Don't be afraid to go after it when you find it. Don't let your doubt get in the way, don't let others doubt get in the way.

It's your life to live baby girl and don't you ever forget that fact. When it is right you will know it. When it is wrong you will know it even faster. Don't buck the system that is intuition. It will only lead to regrets at some point down the road.  You do you and let the rest of the world fuck themselves. In the long run if you don't have your own back, no one else will.

In strength and without ragret,

No Ragrets... Not a single letter.

Sad Sappy Songs to Keep Me Company Today

Dixie Chicks - Landslide
Sinead O'Conner - Nothing Compares 2 U
Elvis - Suspicious Minds
Eiffel 65 - Blue
Dixie Chicks - Goodbye Earl
Trisha Yearwood - She's in love with the boy
Deana Carter - Strawberry Wine
Nelly Frutado - I'm Like A Bird
Cam - Burning House
Lee Ann Womak - Dance
Dixie Chicks - You Were Mine
Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball
Shania Twain - Any Man of Mine
Brad Paisley / Allison Krause - Whiskey Lullibye
Sara Evans - A Little Bit Stronger
The Band Perry - If I Die Young
Dixie Chicks - Not Ready To Make Nice

To My Dark Knight

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