Dear Littler B,
Hello there from a Saturday morning in 2017. I hope when this letter finds you, you will be having an absolutely boring day in whatever year you are in. I say that with all good intention in my heart, and the reason is that life becomes a roller coaster more often than you will want. That brings me to my subject of today. Starting over.
Too many times throughout our life, we will have to start over. Be it in our jobs, love life, friendships, homes, pretty much every aspect of life. While that is a subject that many people fear, it can be good if you handle it right. Unfortunately, having been you once upon a time and the many versions of you to come; I can say we won't always handle it the best but we will get through it.
Right now is a perfect example. I have sat trying to type this letter to you 3 times (don't laugh) and irony upon irony, the computer has crashed each time forcing me to start over. (ok, laugh if you must) What will you do when you are me? Keep persevering and accomplish the task. Many people will choose to just give up. Walk away. That is what makes us different. We don't.
If there is something I can say I've always been a champion of (even before I was you) is that if we want something, no matter how many times we have to restart and reinvent ourselves, we go for it. Living in a state of fear will only serve to stagnate the soul and stunt your growth in becoming the you that you were meant to be. I know you are a firm believer in the fact that every human is born with a unique gift. People who are afraid of evolving sometimes never realize that gift and the possibility of who they may be.
Don't get me wrong dear one. There are sometimes when it just seems too much, like the present me trying to start over after losing the man who will become your heart and your husband. In one month (I don't say this to scare, only prepare) you will lose husband, job, home, and car. There are times like that I admit that you won't have the desire to move on. You will say and do stupid things. In the end, however, you will realize that you have no choice but to start over.
I will tell you what I tell all those facing the same situation. Don't be afraid of beginning again, you can become what ever you want to be, be whom ever you wish to be, go where you want to go. Be afraid of doing nothing. If you do nothing, absolutely nothing happens.
In starting over, it doesn't mean leaving all behind. Some people just never understand that. You can carry over to the new you anything you wish. I can tell you darling, when you become me there are many things that by my age will be firmly set in stone. Things that, not that I can't change but choose not to change. Things that are part of what will make you me and will show who truly wants to be part of our life. If they can't accept these pieces of me, they really don't belong as part of our lives. Don't try to change me, love me for who I am. Accept me for who I am and who I want to be or there is no hope.
Here are some examples:
- At the end of a long workday, I don't like to play the “What do you want for dinner” game.
- I love to sing karaoke (yes you will eventually return to the stage, though not the one you wish.)
- A home should be a good mix of tastes or it is not welcoming to all. A home is never going to be a home if you don't feel you belong.
- A meal without meat doesn't really count as a meal, it's more of a snack.
- Once I'm woken up, there is no going back to sleep. This will lead to many nights of insomnia so if you want me to be in a good mood, don't wake me up. Adding to this, I sleep with the television on for just this reason. It comforts me hearing and not being in the dark. If I'm woken in the middle of the night and it's pitch dark, I won't go back to sleep and will be miserable.
- No one should be all deciding on what is on television. I have shows I like to watch and respect that others have their shows. Don't assume and don't control. That is a sure path to disaster.
- I consider myself somewhat intelligent. I can not tolerate or stomach condescending people.
- Sometimes, whether you want to or not; you need to do what the other person wants and not bitch and moan. (even under your breath) Compromise is the spice of life.
- If I am quiet, it's not usually a good sign.
- I have no tolerance for inconsiderate people. People who are just so wrapped up in themselves that they do not take opinion, feelings, needs or desires into account and learn to blend.
It's ok to be you sweetheart, what is not ok is to allow yourself to be surrounded by people who don't accept you for you. It's not ok to warp everything you are or believe in just so you can fit in or not be alone. I promise you, if you stay true to you – the right ones will be there. Remember, I've been you; I know.
This is me,
Bigger Little B
Inspiration across the years
Anna Kendrick – When I'm Gone
John Lennon – Starting Over
The Beatles – Don't Let Me Down
Van Morrison – Into the Mystic
Ed Sheeran – Thinking Outloud
Johnny Nash – I Can See Clearly
Pretenders – Pack it Up
Beatles – Here Comes the Sun
Evanescence – Bring Me To Life
Camera Obscura – Lets Get Out of This Country
Sophie Tucker – Life Begins at Forty
Linkin Park – Breaking the Habit
Rachel Platten – Fight Song