Not Always Great to Tolerate...

Dear Littler B,

It has been a while since I've written to you. I know my last several letters to you have started out like that; however when the time passes and you become me you will understand exactly why. All I can ask of you is patience and indulgence until I can get back to our regular schedule.

It is a hot Sunday afternoon here in 2017, one that is supposed to be "Fall".  That word is a bit laughable being that you will eventually migrate to the southern state of Tennessee. Real Fall does not actually happen here. You will end up with about 2 weeks of cool weather until the "winter" sets in. (also quite laughable based on the season you are used to).


In the meantime, today I am here to talk to you today about tolerance. There are many forms of tolerance. I've added the exact definition as per Dictionary.com below for any who may see this letter outside of us. This subject came to my mind today because of an occurrence with a local man who today has gone into a church and open fired on the congregation. It makes me think of all the time that has elapsed in the journey of you becoming me. The changes you will see and go through my dear little one, are enough to make a weaker person run scared and hide under the security of their blankets and weep. I don't tell you this to scare you, but to ensure you that you are so much stronger than you realize or will ever give yourself credit for.

Credit: Odyssey

People talk about tolerance in the aspect of religion or race. When you become me you will have heard many times about the need to practice more tolerance, especially as three of your 4 children will be Jewish. Today's shooting smacks very much of a recent church shooting centered around race. I know how you feel when it comes to all this stuff because over the years separating us the sentiment has never changed. Never have I understood the theory of hate. Never have I felt the feeling of discrimination for others. Though the decades that separate us seem like a very long time to you, life is truly too short to ever embody those types of sentiments. Peace can never be found in a society that turns against itself. I'm sorry to say that this has not changed since my days as you.

Credit: EliteTrack

Don't get me wrong dear one. Having tolerance does not mean you have to deal with everything and everyone. (See definition 4 below) The act or capacity of enduring. Throughout the many years it will take you to develop into the wise woman (haha) that is me, you will force yourself to tolerate or endure many things. Yearly, weekly and daily.


There will be much that you accept and put up with that others will simply not. There will be good and bad to this. Be sure my love that you step back and look at the big picture when you are going through things that seem unendurable yet you persevere. If there is no benefit to you or those you love, why are you doing it?  Are you doing it because you fear change? Fear the unknown on the other side? I can promise you now that while it will not be easy, you and all humans tend to tolerate a lot more than they need to.


Do not doubt yourself my young self. I encourage you to not accept that which does not serve. I encourage you to let go of hurtful, harmful or narrow-minded relationships. Do the unexpected and release negativity in order to open enough room to embrace positivity. That which does not nurture the big picture can tend to become very toxic.  As Morpheus (don't worry, you'll learn who that is later) puts it... FREE YOUR MIND.



What people get so wrong is that they believe that they have to take a negative approach with regards to tolerance. When something is more than they can endure in their own mind, they pull out a can of paint or pull down a statue or worse yet pull out a gun. Not enough people understand that that never solves any issue, only inflames it. Take a positive approach or walk away. Mom is right when she says to you "you get more bees with honey".


I am proud of you for being as level-headed and balanced as you are. Your open-mindedness is a virtue. You can usually diffuse any situation and can usually communicate with all. I am glad that is a gift you were given that has remained through the years. It has without a doubt served us well.


I know I have gone on and on here dear littler me so I will end my letter here with just one thought. There is a very old Cherokee story that unbelievably you will not encounter for many many years. I am proud that for the majority of your life you have lived the wisdom of this story without ever even having heard it. Maybe not as much as I would have liked, but tomorrow is a new day and today is not yet done.

Credit: JesseJeanine

Hopefully yours,

Bigger Little B

tolerance

[tol-er-uh ns] 

 

• Synonyms
• Examples
• Word Origin

See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com

noun

1.

a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, beliefs, practices, racial or ethnic origins, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.

2.

a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions, beliefs, and practices that differ from one's own.

3.

interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.

4.

the act or capacity of enduring; endurance:

My tolerance of noise is limited.

5.

Medicine/Medical, Immunology.

1. the power of enduring or resisting the action of a drug, poison,etc.:
   a tolerance to antibiotics.
2. the lack of or low levels of immune response to transplanted tissue or other foreign substance that is normally immunogenic.

6.

Machinery.

1. the permissible range of variation in a dimension of an object.
   Compare allowance (def 8).
2. the permissible variation of an object or objects in some characteristic such as hardness, weight, or quantity.

7.

Also called allowance. Coining. a permissible deviation in the fineness and weight of coin, owing to the difficulty of securing exact conformity to the standard prescribed by law.

Gone to see a man about a cowbell

Dear Littler B,

Public Domain,
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=114302

It has been a month of Sundays since I have written, and for that I apologize. It has been an interesting two months. I feel bad at having left you mid-theme, mid-AtoZ challenge completed. I don't usually back down from a challenge as you well may know (seeing as you are me just very much younger), that is one thing that doesn't change. I do however know when to take a hiatus from something when the emergency need arises and priorities have to shuffle.  Don't despair, some day not too long from mow I will pick back up with Nightshade.


In the mean time, here I am just simply me again wanting to say hello.



I can't quite believe how much my life has changed here in my present, your future.  Things have happened on all levels of the oh shit/Yay spectrum. I know I probably left you scared having disappeared for as long as I have without a letter to let you know how things will shake out.  I don't want you to fear my baby girl. You are strong and resilient. If there is one gift the great goddess has bestowed upon you it is that you are a survivor and find a way to make things work.

This time it was not on your own though and I really give credit to the amazing kind of people you allow in your life over the years to come.  Acceptance of the loss of the physical things was an easy one.  You never have been a material kinda gal any-who. The grieving process of losing the man who was once your husband and is now essentially a 5 year old (temper tantrums and all) has however not been an easy one. When having to return to the ICU with yet another stroke, two weeks after getting out of the month long rehabilitation after the previous one - there really is no easy way to handle it. You will go into shock baby girl. Study up so you know what that means, sick to your stomach and all; so that you can make the make the moment it happens not about you.  I think I pulled it off, but it was difficult. The biggest thing to get used to is the feeling of loneliness that you will feel. Don't ponder in it too long. Moping doesn't become you.

That brings us through April and to May. We've temporarily landed at Anthony's house.  His beautiful loving wife to be is so head strong and smart that they have purchased a house and are allowing us to stay here while I find a way to recover. It is very taxing for all of us, but remember baby girl you have to weather the storm to see the rainbow. Keep your eyes and ears open, because sweet child you will at this time come across an opportunity for a job that will make you happier than any other in your life, for many reasons. The biggest thing is that you will become me on the other side of the tragedy, open your eyes in the morning smile and continue smiling until your eyes close at the end of the night. Truly life changing.

 "When All Else Fails, Add More Cowbell...

I will tell you more about it maybe one day, or just let you be surprised when you get here. All you need to know is that when life becomes so rough, abstract and disconnected, when you don't know if you will make it through - I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel. There will be a cure for it coming down the pike.....

In the mean time I will leave you with an amazing piece of news to look forward to. You are going to finally have a new baby in the family. Anthony is going to be a daddy. The debate has begun in your head at what we will be called (Mama like our mom, Granny, Grandma.... as long as it is never Nanny or MeeMaw lol). 8 years older than mom when we will become this exciting status, but well worth the wait as it took getting here for him to find this amazing and wonderful girl to spend the rest of his life with.




Truly looking back in wonder,

Bigger Little B



Music That Made The Mood


Dixie Chicks - Cowboy, Take Me Away
I Grieve - Peter Gabriel
Look What They've Done Ma - Miley Sirus
Whats Going On? - 4 Non Blondes
Roar - Katy Perry
If I Die Young - The Band Perry
I Try - Macy Gray
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
Wake Me Up - Avicii
Strawberry Wine - Deana Carter

Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
All of Me - John Legend

L is for Lavender...

Dear Littler B,

I can not believe this but I am actually a day ahead on getting this letter to you. Although you and any others will not see it until my tomorrow 4/14. This means I can have quite a bit of breathing room to type this one out. I owe this all to the help of my bestie in getting data for the last two days and giving me a jump. You really are going to have amazing friends when you get to be me.

Well, I suppose I will jump right into today's A to Z Challenge letter to you by letting you know that

is for Lavender...

Origin & Identification

Lavender comes in many forms and you, yourself over the years will plant several varieties. This plant is so familiar to so many that it is even used as a color in the spectrum (a pale purplish).  Lavender grows in a short shrub like form and has skinny shoots that flower at the tips. It is said that the colors of the flowers can be anywhere from a purple/blue to yellow, though between you and when you become me we have never actually seen a yellow lavender. Because of the wide use of this herb you will find it is often grown on farms.

It likes temperate climates (or warm to you and me) which is probably why the plants here in Tennessee seemed to have done better than those back home in New Jersey, however Mom has a green thumb and grows some AMAZING ones in New York. Last visit we even took several bags of clippings.

It's a funny note - even now - 25 years away from when I was you I have chosen so many pink & purple things to write about. I promise you I am no "girly" then you are. Wonder if it means something subconsciously? Moving on...

Practical Uses of Lavender

This herb is a VERY aromatic herb and when you get to be me you will know that there are two distinct smells that are ever present in our home along with patchouli and rosemary. When I am in a house I will always plant this near my door and often be seen running my hand through it just to have the scent on me. It might be because of mom's fascination with the scent for as long as I can remember.

Lavender is known for it's calming effect on the body and mind and is most commonly used for its fragrance in soaps, bath soaks, air fresheners and potpourri.  You can however also find lavender along with chamomile for calming, soothing and sleep teas like I make.



Soaking in it is almost a nightly occurrence here in 2016 due to the fact that yes - you've gotten old! It helps with stress and muscles so the products you see here from my amazon affiliate program are a staple in 2016 you's bathroom.

One of the amazing soothing properties of this herb make it a mandatory in your home from the time you are you until you are ancient like me. When having an anxiety attack, pouring the essential oil on a cloth and holding it near your nose breathing in and out will reduce the anxiety enough to get it under control.

One of my favorite uses for this herb is cooking thanks to a dear old friend of mine who used to make lavender sugar and lavender shortbread cookies. I've included recipes for them below. If you have never tried, DO IT! (I know you will in many years thanks to her but try to find it before then, you will love it!


Recipe for lavender sugar by About Food.com
Click on the link above for her expertise. NONE of this is mine I promise. I am not original in any way. None of that has changed over the years, I can only take info and make it better. Maybe I should have stayed working with BASF.


LAVENDER SUGAR
1 tbsp of lavender flowers
2 cups sugar
(I know my friend added a full vanilla bean for hers so DO IT!)

(c) Elizabeth LaBau

Ingredients

• 1 tbsp culinary dried lavender
• 2 cups granulated sugar
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• Prep Time: 5 minutes
• Cook Time: 0 minutes

• Total Time: 5 minutes
• Yield: 2 cups Lavender Sugar

Preparation

1. Place the dried lavender in the bowl of a food processor and blend it for 10-15 seconds to chop it into small pieces.
2. Add 1 cup of granulated sugar to the processor and blend well, for 15-20 seconds, until the lavender is finely ground and mixed into the sugar.
3. Whisk the lavender sugar together with the remaining cup of sugar until the lavender is well dispersed.
4. Store Lavender Sugar in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 6 months.

Recipe for lavender shortbread cookies can be found here at my friend James Beard's site he's a local boy, you'll like him. You truly have to try these culinary delights! Or, you could be lazy (like I know you are) and just try something like what my friend made (lavender shortbread) through my Amazon Affiliate program here:

Metaphysical Uses

As ironic as this seems because it has such a calming effect - lavender is actually a masculine herb associated with the planet Mercury and the element of air. It is known for it's properties of love, protection, sleep, chastity, longevity, purification, happiness, and peace.  For these reasons it is obvious why I include this herb in love sachets, dream pillows that I sew and use the essential oil in my massage oil.

When getting ready to perform anything that will require heavy spiritual work, a cleansing bath is usually in order to help you step out of the mundane to the magickal. Having a calming, cleansing bath with lavender is often good for that, run the hot water and drop in a sachet that includes lavender along with any other herbs pertinent to the working you are about to do. This will often level your energy, put you in the moment and promote focus on what you need to do.

Many cultures have their own history with lavender (such as in the Renaissance period, mixed with rosemary to promote chastity). Today's letter I am going to focus on the Feng Shui bit a little since you are going to do a lot of chakra work.

Purple or Lavender is known in the shakra as the color for the Crown. This is anything obviously to do with the head (technically just above the head at about 6" or so if you think of it on an aura-ish)

Any time you need to work with anything relating to the consciousness or mind, you will call on the crown chakra, being present or moving beyond present into the akashic field. Just face it, anything to do with controlling or allowing the release of control of your physical mind - lavender is the way to go.  I have the amethyst chakra wand below to help me in times like these (on loan to me through bestie as well as my rose quartz one broke in half).

Ok, enough about me, I will leave you be since I am so anxious about tomorrow that I experienced it today. That is good though, it shows signs of healing from Message of Love and the fact that in just days I am going to have to lose my home because we didn't come even CLOSE to our goal...and figure how to move everything including a husband post-stroke.  I am trying not to live in the past. Again, I will take little victories.

Calmly yours,

Bigger Little B


Music that kept me company...