Not Always Great to Tolerate...

Dear Littler B,

It has been a while since I've written to you. I know my last several letters to you have started out like that; however when the time passes and you become me you will understand exactly why. All I can ask of you is patience and indulgence until I can get back to our regular schedule.

It is a hot Sunday afternoon here in 2017, one that is supposed to be "Fall".  That word is a bit laughable being that you will eventually migrate to the southern state of Tennessee. Real Fall does not actually happen here. You will end up with about 2 weeks of cool weather until the "winter" sets in. (also quite laughable based on the season you are used to).


In the meantime, today I am here to talk to you today about tolerance. There are many forms of tolerance. I've added the exact definition as per Dictionary.com below for any who may see this letter outside of us. This subject came to my mind today because of an occurrence with a local man who today has gone into a church and open fired on the congregation. It makes me think of all the time that has elapsed in the journey of you becoming me. The changes you will see and go through my dear little one, are enough to make a weaker person run scared and hide under the security of their blankets and weep. I don't tell you this to scare you, but to ensure you that you are so much stronger than you realize or will ever give yourself credit for.

Credit: Odyssey

People talk about tolerance in the aspect of religion or race. When you become me you will have heard many times about the need to practice more tolerance, especially as three of your 4 children will be Jewish. Today's shooting smacks very much of a recent church shooting centered around race. I know how you feel when it comes to all this stuff because over the years separating us the sentiment has never changed. Never have I understood the theory of hate. Never have I felt the feeling of discrimination for others. Though the decades that separate us seem like a very long time to you, life is truly too short to ever embody those types of sentiments. Peace can never be found in a society that turns against itself. I'm sorry to say that this has not changed since my days as you.

Credit: EliteTrack

Don't get me wrong dear one. Having tolerance does not mean you have to deal with everything and everyone. (See definition 4 below) The act or capacity of enduring. Throughout the many years it will take you to develop into the wise woman (haha) that is me, you will force yourself to tolerate or endure many things. Yearly, weekly and daily.


There will be much that you accept and put up with that others will simply not. There will be good and bad to this. Be sure my love that you step back and look at the big picture when you are going through things that seem unendurable yet you persevere. If there is no benefit to you or those you love, why are you doing it?  Are you doing it because you fear change? Fear the unknown on the other side? I can promise you now that while it will not be easy, you and all humans tend to tolerate a lot more than they need to.


Do not doubt yourself my young self. I encourage you to not accept that which does not serve. I encourage you to let go of hurtful, harmful or narrow-minded relationships. Do the unexpected and release negativity in order to open enough room to embrace positivity. That which does not nurture the big picture can tend to become very toxic.  As Morpheus (don't worry, you'll learn who that is later) puts it... FREE YOUR MIND.



What people get so wrong is that they believe that they have to take a negative approach with regards to tolerance. When something is more than they can endure in their own mind, they pull out a can of paint or pull down a statue or worse yet pull out a gun. Not enough people understand that that never solves any issue, only inflames it. Take a positive approach or walk away. Mom is right when she says to you "you get more bees with honey".


I am proud of you for being as level-headed and balanced as you are. Your open-mindedness is a virtue. You can usually diffuse any situation and can usually communicate with all. I am glad that is a gift you were given that has remained through the years. It has without a doubt served us well.


I know I have gone on and on here dear littler me so I will end my letter here with just one thought. There is a very old Cherokee story that unbelievably you will not encounter for many many years. I am proud that for the majority of your life you have lived the wisdom of this story without ever even having heard it. Maybe not as much as I would have liked, but tomorrow is a new day and today is not yet done.

Credit: JesseJeanine

Hopefully yours,

Bigger Little B

tolerance

[tol-er-uh ns] 

 

• Synonyms
• Examples
• Word Origin

See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com

noun

1.

a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, beliefs, practices, racial or ethnic origins, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.

2.

a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions, beliefs, and practices that differ from one's own.

3.

interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.

4.

the act or capacity of enduring; endurance:

My tolerance of noise is limited.

5.

Medicine/Medical, Immunology.

1. the power of enduring or resisting the action of a drug, poison,etc.:
   a tolerance to antibiotics.
2. the lack of or low levels of immune response to transplanted tissue or other foreign substance that is normally immunogenic.

6.

Machinery.

1. the permissible range of variation in a dimension of an object.
   Compare allowance (def 8).
2. the permissible variation of an object or objects in some characteristic such as hardness, weight, or quantity.

7.

Also called allowance. Coining. a permissible deviation in the fineness and weight of coin, owing to the difficulty of securing exact conformity to the standard prescribed by law.

Gone to see a man about a cowbell

Dear Littler B,

Public Domain,
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=114302

It has been a month of Sundays since I have written, and for that I apologize. It has been an interesting two months. I feel bad at having left you mid-theme, mid-AtoZ challenge completed. I don't usually back down from a challenge as you well may know (seeing as you are me just very much younger), that is one thing that doesn't change. I do however know when to take a hiatus from something when the emergency need arises and priorities have to shuffle.  Don't despair, some day not too long from mow I will pick back up with Nightshade.


In the mean time, here I am just simply me again wanting to say hello.



I can't quite believe how much my life has changed here in my present, your future.  Things have happened on all levels of the oh shit/Yay spectrum. I know I probably left you scared having disappeared for as long as I have without a letter to let you know how things will shake out.  I don't want you to fear my baby girl. You are strong and resilient. If there is one gift the great goddess has bestowed upon you it is that you are a survivor and find a way to make things work.

This time it was not on your own though and I really give credit to the amazing kind of people you allow in your life over the years to come.  Acceptance of the loss of the physical things was an easy one.  You never have been a material kinda gal any-who. The grieving process of losing the man who was once your husband and is now essentially a 5 year old (temper tantrums and all) has however not been an easy one. When having to return to the ICU with yet another stroke, two weeks after getting out of the month long rehabilitation after the previous one - there really is no easy way to handle it. You will go into shock baby girl. Study up so you know what that means, sick to your stomach and all; so that you can make the make the moment it happens not about you.  I think I pulled it off, but it was difficult. The biggest thing to get used to is the feeling of loneliness that you will feel. Don't ponder in it too long. Moping doesn't become you.

That brings us through April and to May. We've temporarily landed at Anthony's house.  His beautiful loving wife to be is so head strong and smart that they have purchased a house and are allowing us to stay here while I find a way to recover. It is very taxing for all of us, but remember baby girl you have to weather the storm to see the rainbow. Keep your eyes and ears open, because sweet child you will at this time come across an opportunity for a job that will make you happier than any other in your life, for many reasons. The biggest thing is that you will become me on the other side of the tragedy, open your eyes in the morning smile and continue smiling until your eyes close at the end of the night. Truly life changing.

 "When All Else Fails, Add More Cowbell...

I will tell you more about it maybe one day, or just let you be surprised when you get here. All you need to know is that when life becomes so rough, abstract and disconnected, when you don't know if you will make it through - I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel. There will be a cure for it coming down the pike.....

In the mean time I will leave you with an amazing piece of news to look forward to. You are going to finally have a new baby in the family. Anthony is going to be a daddy. The debate has begun in your head at what we will be called (Mama like our mom, Granny, Grandma.... as long as it is never Nanny or MeeMaw lol). 8 years older than mom when we will become this exciting status, but well worth the wait as it took getting here for him to find this amazing and wonderful girl to spend the rest of his life with.




Truly looking back in wonder,

Bigger Little B



Music That Made The Mood


Dixie Chicks - Cowboy, Take Me Away
I Grieve - Peter Gabriel
Look What They've Done Ma - Miley Sirus
Whats Going On? - 4 Non Blondes
Roar - Katy Perry
If I Die Young - The Band Perry
I Try - Macy Gray
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
Wake Me Up - Avicii
Strawberry Wine - Deana Carter

Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
All of Me - John Legend

Giving Up

Dear Littler B,


It is finally Friday here in a random February week in 2016.  My third cup of coffee is brewing and annoyingly on the tv "Oscar Mania" has taken over regularly scheduled programming. You are somewhere in 1989, I imagine in the band room reading your newest installment in the letters that have made it through the funnel of time and into your hands.

It struck me the other day that these letters would have been so much easier if you take notes along the road of you becoming me so that I know what fears, questions and memories would be the important things to tell you about.  At the time you are in though I know you won't realize the cyclical nature of time.


Your dreams are so big yet lack any definition. You want to do such big things and change the world but don't have any idea how you are going to do them.  This is going to frustrate you along the path you walk in the journey of leaving who you are behind and becoming me.




"I have not failed. I've just found 10000 ways that won't work." - Thomas A. Edison



I'm here to give you one big pointer today about that frustration. DON'T let it stop you from achieving the things you want to realize in your world. Some people along your way will believe in you. Some people will laugh. Some people will walk away.  Don't let outside noise distract you dear younger me, don't allow the doubt others have to cause doubt to come into your heart and mind.


If Mr. Edison had listened to the nay-sayers around him do you think we would be sitting in the light today?

As I sit here today I am trying to reach for a dream that I've carried with me long before I was you. Supporters have come into my life from areas I never expected.  If I never tried to actively go for my goal, I never would have realized how many people actually believed in me.  Until you try, you will never know how wonderful and surprising that feels. Doubters will come but it is easier to shake them off (as a pop artists popular right know is known to say) knowing you have those who will help hold you up when you need them until the time when you can hold yourself up.

Don't be afraid to try, don't be lazy and don't surround yourself with what-ifs.  It's you that has the dream so it is you that has to go out there and make it happen. Giving up is not an option.



Shoot for the moon baby girl, you just might land in the stars.

Sincerely hoping you never let them hold you down,

Soundtrack to my day

 
A Great Big World - Say Something
Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud
Wiz Khalifa / Charlie Puth - See You Again
Maroon 5 - Sugar
Passenger - Let Her Go
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
Megan Trainor - All About That Base
Pink - Just Give Me A Reason
Taylor Swift - Shake It Off
Pitbull - Timber
Miley Cyrus - We Can't Stop
John Legend - All Of Me
Imagine Dragons - Deamons
Rhianna - Stay
Mark Ronson / Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk

The Business of Being Grown-up

Dear Littler B,

Good afternoon from a very frazzled frustrated you sitting in 2016. So much to learn and never enough time to do it. I have been put to a "Blog Challenge" which will require me to tailor 4 letters of yours to certain topics.  This should be creative and fun.

http://www.womanpulse.com/2016/02/blogging-challenge-week-one-what-advice.html

Your first letter is a bit of a cheat though, for you/me. The letter today is supposed to be about what advice I would give a child about adulthood.  While I know that has got your bristly hair on your shaved head up, no I don't mean you are a "child" per se, but when you become me in your mid-forties you will realize that 16-18 is so incredibly new.

Every letter I have written to you thus far has been about advice. The things that are coming for you to prepare for. These things (for the most part) are not only things you will experience but things that many at large will go through in the journey of growing up. So, while all of my letters to you are advice I will sum up some of the big hitters.



 

Always Find a Reason to Smile








Life when you are an adult dear little me is full of responsibility. It is not a bad thing. You get to work (which you might not like) but it allows you to have money to buy the things you like. You will be pulled in all different directions to be able to juggle your responsibilities so make sure you find at least one thing to reflect on from your day that will make you smile.






Always Find a Reason to Make Others Smile

Remember, young one. While you are going to be a busy grown up - others will be as well. Do you know how good it feels to have someone compliment you or just be nice to you for no reason at all? It is just as important to give that feeling to other people. Commit a random act of kindness every day, even if it is just a little one. It may be just the thing that someone else needs to completely turn their day around.


Don't Be Afraid to Try Something New

You have so much time ahead of you and so many experiences you will have the opportunity to take part in. Don't be afraid to try something new, it will be what creates the amazing grown up that you will become. It will introduce you to new people. It will teach you things you like and things you don't.

Things I Like

Things I Don't

Take a Mental Picture 

Every chance you get, take a moment to take a mental picture of the things around you and file it in your brain-album. As your pages get filled up and you look back through them you will be amazed by the beautiful moments you have been blessed to take part in.

Don't Be Afraid to Be Yourself

There are so many people who will put expectations on you about who you should be, what you should look like, what you should believe, what you should think. At the end of the day, one of the wonderful things about being a grown up is that YOU are the one who has to live your life. Make it yours!

I have so much more I can tell you, but this letter is getting rather long. Luckily, I get the opportunity to share these and so many more ideas on an almost daily basis.

Here's looking at you kid,

Background Sound

John Mayer - No Such Thing
John Mellencamp - Jack and Diane
Ben Folds - Still Fighting It
Ataris - In This Diary
Miranda Lambert - The House That Built Me
Carrie Underwood - Whenever You Remember
Kenny Chesney - Young
Taylor Swift - Fifteen
Blink 182 - Dammit
Five for Fighting - 100 Years

It Takes a Tribe

Dear Littler B,

I am sitting here writing your letter today and feeling guilty that written to you in a couple days. I know I have been (for the most part) productive in the way of education in the world I've gotten us into - however I have been not so productive in content to provide you insight to what life is like when you become me.

Today's wisdom is coming to you across the decades not from me, but from those I have met through (what you will learn about in time) social media.

At times through your life you are going to be intrigued or inspired to try something new.  It doesn't matter if it is the time you decide to branch off into an unknown religion, learn how to cook, become a programmer, become a mother. All of these things carry the same levels of initiation, insecurity, ignorance, education and enlightenment.  Nothing comes to the average - non-savant Joe like you/I without a great big huge learning curve.

Sometimes along the way you are going to get lucky. You will find yourself in the middle of the village as the idiot who everyone is nice enough to help take care of or encourage and educate. A tribe of people who all have been through the same process and are on various levels of
enlightenment and are willing to share their experiences with you.

Be those experiences good or bad, soak them in dear little me. Every story is a learning experience if you look at it correctly. Learn from those around you what to do, what not to do, what to laugh at, when to work and when to play.  Every person is the wisest person. Wisest in how they have experienced their journey and how they experience this joyful and adventurous carnival ride called Life.

Along that learning process you will (when you are not even looking) become the proverbial butterfly from the creepy crawly caterpillar. Sometimes you will be the student, sometimes the teacher. In time you will go from being the village idiot that you always feel yourself to be into being the wise person that someone will look to for knowledge and inspiration.  I can't promise you will have gotten there yet when you become me, but I can tell you we are somewhere on the journey a little less idiot - a little more wise.

Encouraging you to embrace your village, be one with the tribe,

A big PS. Thank you FB Tribe for being my inspiration today.


Dancing & Frivolity Today Provided by:
Phillip Phillips - Home
Lorde - Royals
Rhianna - Stay
Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know
Phillip Phillips - Raging Fire
Anna Kendrick - Cups
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
John Legend - All of Me
Christina Perri - A Thousand Years