I Challenge You

Dear Readers,

Today I am going to take a step outside of my normal format (in a way) to address you dear reader as opposed to the typical letter to myself. I decided because it is Leap Day, it was a chance to shake it up and deviate for a day.

I want to talk to you all about a subject that is very near and dear to my heart, Communication.

As defined by dictionary.com

Communication[kuh-myoo-ni-key-shuh n] 
noun

1. the act or process of communicating; fact of being communicated.

2. the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing or signs.

3. Something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted.

4. a document or message imparting news, views, information, etc

5. passage, or an opportunity or means of passage between places.

In the day and age that we are in, so many people send a multitude messages and post so many comments on this site or that, but hardly say anything of meaning. The personal aspect of communication has been stripped away from our day to day life. We are able to drop a message to anyone and have it delivered to their intended recipient within seconds no matter where in the world that person is.

We have become a society that attempts to get our thoughts and purpose out in 140 characters or less. As a result we are often quick to the point and lack feeling and substance in what we say. The art of language has been butchered into quick one-liners and acronyms.


In the day before we all took to our "inbox" to search for that couple line message answering a question or sending the most recent photo we went to our mailboxes to wait for a letter to arrive, old fashioned hand written letters.  They would come to us in beautiful script (which most children today can not even read as it is not taught in a large number of schools), depending on who they were directed to they might have drawings in the margins or the light scent of perfume. Often times they would be multiple pages with thought out sentiment that people today don't necessarily take the time to include.

"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead"  ~ Mark Twain

I stumbled upon a site recently that supports the importance of letters as they used to be. The organization is called Letters Live. Unfortunately for me they are based out of England, but fortunate for me it seems one of my absolute favorite actors takes part in the organization so I have gotten to watch him read several letters like this one:

Benedict Cumberbatch in Letters Live

YOUR CHALLENGE


I urge you - oh dedicated social media user, visit this website and look around. Go to YouTube and search for Letters Live.  Listen to the thoughtfulness and beauty that is in a single letter.  Let it inspire you to take up a pen and a piece of paper. Take up multiple pieces of paper if the spirit hits you and write a letter from the heart. You will not have the backspace button at hand so the thoughts you put down will be provoking and real.

Now comes the twist that you knew I would put on it.  As you prepare to put your ink to paper I want you to envision the recipient of your letter. I want you to see the person as if they were right there with you, sitting just across the table from you.  Imagine that person in the flesh, solid, listening, curious as to what you have to say.

Now, I want you to imagine the face of that person is yours at the age of 16 years old.

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart" ~ Wordsworth

So many of you have expressed the feeling that you had thought of doing something like this.  Today, I encourage you to write that letter.

Sincerely,

Bidy




I would love to hear from you, my readers. I would love you to share your letter with me and if inspired and are interested in writing a guest post, allow me to share your letters with my readers.

You can reach me via email at:   Bidy@dearlittlerme.com

Being Humble

Dear Littler B,

Today I am surrounded by a bit of a scenery change.  I am writing to you on (believe it or not) my phone while I sit in a career center in town preparing to attend an unemployment orientation.  This is one of the sad byproducts of the fall of the economy which you will experience starting around 2000 but won't rear it's ugly fang toothed face full force until 2008.

Unfortunately the job market will chew you up and spit you out a couple of times, but don't despair.  It will encourage you to go many places, meet many wonderful people and allow you to reinvent yourself several times over. This time it has been a little difficult as I really loved the job that I was in and they blind-sided me with "revenue no longer supports your position".

It just seems to be a no win sometimes climbing to get out of the struggle since a big incident happened a little over a year ago.  I will share that information with you only because maybe you might be able to emotionally prepare yourself and handle it a little bit better than I did. Obviously, the "help" didn't come in the way it was hoped as you know I am still sitting here typing from Nashville, but you are resilient and find a way to endure.


The Keyboard Commentarian: Words of the Day: UPDATE & HELP: Last summer, I introduced you to Anthony Howell, the son of a dear friend of mine, Bridget, who was stationed at the Army National Guard, 11...

I finally qualified for a small stipend from unemployment that got unexpectedly frozen until I completed today's orientation so needless to say you are going to go through a time of no power, no telephone and no food when you get to be me.  Don't panic, people are amazingly wonderful. Today for example after my orientation I was able to get a small box of food and bread at the soup kitchen from a bunch of the most kind people I know in town. While it is not a job, it does help to get by. Every little bit helps. (I know you'd rather have the job - don't be ungrateful you little shit)

No matter how bad situations get, you are a survivor. Don't ever give up. Be strong and persevere. Things always find a way to land on their feet. I can keep going knowing that you never quit.



Sincerely, Shaken but Never Broken,

Today the following joined me to keep my ears company

State of TN Career Center PA - Random Elevator Music
Imagine Dragons - On Top of the World
Vangelis - Chariots of Fire
U2 - Beautiful Day
BonJovi - It's My Life
Smash Mouth - All Star
Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly Now
Louie Armstrong - Beautiful World
David Bowie - Just for One Day
Joanna Pacitti - Watch Me Shine
Kelly Clarkson - Stronger

The Bullies

Dear Littler B,

I'm sitting on my bed instead of in my office because I got thinking and the keyboard wouldn't wait.  Coffee is next to me and the sound of the truck beeps from the garbage man are coming from the parking lot outside, Drew Carey from the TV drones on in the background and the puppy is snoring half on my lap. (I say puppy, though he is really a little old man)

I'm not sure what made me think of this subject today, it might have been a commercial half heard in my sleep or just a memory flashing through my dreams but bullies are something that you have had to deal with pretty much before you know what the word means. I'm not sure what advice I can give you or anyone whose hands this may fall in, but I know what is truth for you.  In a way you are luckier than most in that you are the 4th child of 5 so you were able to be primed with a thicker skin than some.

There have been many instances you have already lived through, like getting hit in the head with a pan by one sister and having your goldfish boiled (I know you still remember that, because I do... IT WAS AN ACCIDENT). The years that you got picked on after moving from the belly of the south to New Jersey and having that thick southern drawl pour out of your mouth.

It's truly a double genetic whammy that you were born to be not much taller than the limit of a little person and graced with a name that rhymes with "midget". Even that best friend of yours from the swings that lets you sneak out of class with Helga (her car) to go get pizza for the lunch table started out as a bully if you remember correctly.

Thick skin or no, it still hurts.... THEN.


There are going to be many more instances to come so strap in and get ready for it. Like the time you will be at a dance for Halloween and someone will take the mask off your dancing partner to see "who would dance with her", or the time you are going to be grabbed by your hair and dragged on the old gym floor. (Though I still don't regret it resulting in shaving your head and showing up in combat boots from then on out). It will happen only very rarely when you are an adult, from a woman at work who will jump over your desk at you, from your own children, from people you thought you loved. I won't kid you.

I can't tell you why people are like they are, maybe they feel entitled, they feel better than you, maybe they feel less of a person, maybe they don't eve realize they are doing it. It is a fact of life that is a big topic in popular culture today made worse by the invention you have yet to learn - social media.  In all there is one thing that I can tell you that is very important for you to remember. There is only one thing in all of it that you can control.

YOU

Giving in and being hurt, doing something stupid will only put the champion belt on them. It will allow them to win. I promise you that it gets better, because you do. The immature will mature for the most part, but the best thing is that after school you will leave those people behind and be able to surround yourself by the people you deserve. As dad is famous for saying "This too shall pass".

If that doesn't help, let me from the future let you know.... Social media is also good for something else. I am able to see those people who may hold you down and tell you the beautiful become not so, the ones who got fat or bald or both. (Is that a little evil of me?)

Physical beauty only stays so long, popularity only stays so long but the love and light you have inside you can last forever if you let it.

Lots of love from a stronger and happier,

Bigger Little B



Today's Musical Accompaniment 

Taylor Swift - Mean
Dixie Chicks - Goodbye Earl
Hillary Duff - Fly
Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County
Blink 182 - Adam's Song
Mark Wills - Don't Laugh at Me
Morgan Fraizer - Hey Bully
Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
Matt Kennon - You Had to Pick on Me
Selena Gomez - Who Says
Bars and Melody - Hopeful

Whispers

Dear Littler B,

Though I don't have an actual letter prepared today as I have so very much to catch up on in the real world that I have been neglecting since our first letter. I was tagged on a photo today from one of my very best friends and it was too ironic not to send to you.  Listen to the whispers on the wind and I will do the same.

Here's whispering to you kid!

Bigger Little B

Thank you HH for the tag!

That Love Stuff

Dear Littler Me,

Good morning to you from the day of love 2016.  I sit here quietly in the wee hours of the morning on the bed next to our sleeping hubby trying to type quietly so as not to wake him. Today is Valentines day, a day to focus on love and all things mushy. Luckily for me we've been to penny tight to be able to take part in the commercialism of the day so it has for the most part remained about spending time with each other and the "feeling" crap, untainted by the need to ply each other with gifts to "prove" we love each other.

This may not sound like the ideal dream to a 16 or 17 year old (what ever age you are when this reaches you) but I promise you it is. I do know you a bit since I'm lucky enough to have the inside scoop so I know you are not the average teenager. Feelings are more important to you than things. I guess we just got lucky to be who we are.

Where you are in the 1988ish time frame you are no different than I am here. The things that make you happy is to know that someone thought of you and to know you are loved. That is one thing, dear littler me you will never have to worry about. You have been loved by many over the years. The best of them being an amazing father who will be bringing you and your sisters flowers as he does every year. (it will be hard to ever find a guy who measures up to the kind, gentle, giving man that is daddy)

If this letter reaches you during the right year, you will have carnations bought for you at school by a guy who doesn't even attend the same school. You will see him of and on, one of your first loves. Even until you become me you still have the notes from those flowers tucked into a photo album next to a picture of the two of you in Disney.

Your loves, though fiery and exciting and you will love every single one of them, will come and go in your life and will make you feel like you are not worthy of that lasting love like Mom & Dad have. To this day you think back fondly on all of them who have been in your life and thank them for the piece of their life that they gave to you. The one who traded up for your best friend, the one who
joined the Army, the one who joined the Air Force, the one who was in the band, the one who was a gardener, the one who loved his mother more in the end, the one who lit the sky on fire, the one who walked on the wild side.

After a long life of love, none have been better than the one waking beside me in the young hours of a Sunday morning here in 2016 in Nashville. I will not tell you too much about him because I don't want to spoil the meet up or space time continuum and all that happy scientific horse puckey. Let it be said though, you will know him the moment you see him fumbling with his keys after standing him up two times. He is still going to give you a chance and forever think it is you who gave him a chance.




We may not be able to get gifts for each other, but we have the day to give each other and that my dear little me is all you ever need.

Lovingly yours,

Bigger Little B

Today the following entertained my ears:

Friends...

Dear Littler B,

It is approaching lunchtime very fast here today and I have yet to get my message out to you.  We had quite an evening of it here. Last week was rent so every penny went to that. Sadly that meant we missed the electric bill by 1 day and had to go without power for the night in 17 degree weather. It was shaping up to be a very long evening. I'm not here to talk to you today about money troubles though (which you will have plenty of thanks to the local job market) but to talk to you about how we still slept in a warm bed with a warm meal in our stomachs.

One of the things that have been constant in your life is that somehow you are going to meet the best people in the world. The people you are going to be friends with over the years are going to have the biggest hearts that you could imagine. They have helped you survive in your roughest times over the years. Some out of the desire just to help, without expectations of reciprocation. You will know them when they come (mostly).

Last night was a great example. I know you will have a long time till you get to last night but, maybe when you get there you will remember what I told you so you don't worry as much as I did yesterday. A gentleman who you befriend about a year before I start writing to you is going to be one of your best friends when you are me.  You will meet him when you are going to the V.A. to visit your son. When he is out of the hospital he will move in with you for a little while until a lot of hard work gets him an apartment in the same complex.

You will have several people move in with you over the years because your motto is if you have $1 you will give someone else $2. Like the time you will make all those Easter baskets for the gang at the VA Hospital yet go without sustainable food for a good 2 weeks.  Maybe it's your belief in paying things forward, but probably not. You give to people not expecting to get anything back except the joy of knowing it makes others happy.  Especially your weak spot of veterans. Keep this trait. It will be the center of joy and amazing memories for a long time.

In all, the most important thing to remember is to be the best kind of friend you can be. Not because you expect anything (though I know you don't - because you are a stubborn mule and don't usually let people know when you are having a hard time), but because they all deserve it. They (the friends you will make) have been such a rock in the storm that is going to be your life. 

Outside of that, the only thing that I give you as far as today's advice is to LET them be your friend. You know how much you like the feeling of helping people? Your true friends also have the right to feel that feeling so when they get adamant (and they will) within reason, be ok with accepting help. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Warmly yours,

Bigger Little B



Today's earworms brought to you by

Cam - Burning House
Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County
Alan Jackson - Don't Rock the JukeBox
Alan Jackson - Chattahoochie
Garth Brooks - The Dance
George Strait - Carrying Your Love With Me
Toby Keith - Should've Been a Cowboy
Kenny Rogers - Lady
John Michael Montgomery - I Swear
Dixie Chicks - There's Your Trouble
Shania Twain - Any Man of Mine
Lone Star - Amazed
Tim McGraw - It's Your Love
Vince Gill - I Still Believe in you
Brooks & Dunn - My Maria
Reba McIntyre - Is There Life Out There
Tim McGraw - I Like It, I Love It
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
Garth Brooks - The Thunder Rolls
Randy Travis - Love Without End Amen
Michael W. Smith - Friends

Everything I Needed To Know

Dear Littler Me,

Good morning and all that warm fuzzy greeting stuff that you are supposed to say at the beginning of a letter.  Today I thought I would write to you about something that has been in the back of my head for a little while, hence the title of this letter, "Everything I needed to know I learned from Ellen DeGeneres"

This as always is just a few points of wisdom for you to live by. It's done me wonders.

Sincerely,

Bigger Little B.

Don't be afraid to be who you are.

 “Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.” Ellen DeGeneres

The universe is so much bigger than you or I (same thing in this case) imagine.

“The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.” Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously I'm Kidding

Stand up for what you believe in.

 No matter what your cause or what it is you believe go at it with your whole heart and soul if it is important to you.

Nothing feels better than giving.

No matter what you have in life, trust me.... Someone else has less. Things are nice but the feeling of spreading love will last forever.

Except when it is a complete surprise. 

Exceed expectations every chance you can.

Never give up

Life is hard. The day to day living is hard enough without adding dreams into it. But just think of the dreams you will accomplish if you give up...

Always see the humor in life

“Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, "I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster." - Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously I'm Kidding

 

When all else fails.... Dance

Thank you GoodReads.com for helping me with some of the quotes above.


Today's background sound provided by biography.com & Youtube
http://www.biography.com/people/ellen-degeneres-9542420/videos/ellen-degeneres-full-episode-2244678863

 

Brief History of Your Future

Dear Littler Me,

Hi there from a windy Monday in 2016. I've got Hulu playing in the background, coffee in a cup next to me and a complete blank space between my ears. I just can't seem to kick it into gear no matter how I try.

You are going to have a whole lot of days like this when motivation just seems to be no where in sight. Somehow, we can usually push through it but I'm thinking today may not be one of those days.  That leaves me with the conundrum of what to write to you today about. So many memories, so little time.

I don't know how long this channel to you will be open so I've been trying to tell you about as many of the the big and small things that I can.  I've really hit on some of the big ones... Joining the Navy, teen and pregnant, marriage, multiple kids, children in the military, Nashville.... and so on. Maybe today I will hit on some of the not so deep things. A little bit of years to come for you in a brief list.

Enjoy!

Bigger Little B

1991 - Stay away from anyone named Jeffrey Dahlmer, heartbreak over the British family, WWW coming!

1992 - Teflon Don, Sammy the Bull and Amy Fisher are going to be big names, Say goodbye to Johnny Carson.

1993 - Religious fanatics in Texas, Dinosaurs in the Movies, World Trade Center, women in combat and Bobbitt becomes a verb.

1994 - No world series, King of Pop marries into King of Rock's family, we say goodbye to Nixon, Cobain & Jackie O

1995 - Netscape, first widespread GUI, OJ gets away and the legacy of Jerry Garcia.

1996 - Una-bomber, Nintendo64, Dolly the sheep, softball in the Olympics.

1997 - An independent Hong Kong, Heavens Gate, the world learns about quidditch, the world mourns Princess Di.



1998 - Monica and the POTUS, McGuire & Sosa race each other, ISS and women around the world celebrate the invention of Viagra.

1999 - Columbine, Pokemon, Y2K apocalypse scare, Dream Team is formed

2000 - Putin appointed, GWB elected, the real Slim Shady stood up, Big Brother comes to the waves.

2001 - Wikipedia becomes a go-to, Twin Towers fall and the War on Terror begins.

2002 - Gitmo goes into operation, Euro spreads, MV Prestige, Monsters Ball

2003 - Columbia Disaster, SARS, European heat wave.

2004 - Facebook redefines life as we know it, Google, Tsunamis and Martha Stewart is going to jail.

2005 - Youtube is launched, Pope John Paul II leaves the world, Michael Jackson is in court and Katrina devastates the US.

2006 - Twitter goes live, Pluto gets a demotion, Saddam Hussein is executed.

2007 - Brittney goes over the edge, the iPhone is launched, Live Earth entertains the world.

2008 - First black president of US, Hadron Collider is switched on, Black Monday becomes a household name.

2009 - Death of the king of pop, Ardi the oldest humanoid, Elections in Afghanistan, BRCA testing.

2010 - Worlds tallest building, Pandora becomes a place with big blue indigenous species, JKs saga comes to an end, Gulf oil crisis.

2011 - Osama Bin Laden, Gabby Gifford, Japan is threatened by radiation, Royal weddings and we say good bye to a movie legend Elizabeth Taylor.

2012 - Diamond Jubilee, Curiosity Rover, shootings in Aurora movie theater, Whitney Houston.

2013 - Boston marathon bombing, Meteor lights up sky over Russia, the year of Miley, Pope resigns.

2014 - Maya Angelou dies, Chaos from Russia, Columbus' ship Santa Maria found, Jay Leno finally retires.

2015 - The people take over government building, Harper Lee back in print, Charlie Hebdo, US & Cuba open public travel, Trump for President????

2016 - Who knows! Can't wait to see!

Eagles - Take It Easy
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Up Around the Bend
John Fogerty - Have You Ever Seen the Rain
Eagles - Hotel California
Don Maclane - American Pie
Cam - Burning House
Thomas Rhett - Die a Happy Man
Luke Bryan - Strip it Down
Lennon & Maisey - Call Your Girlfriend
Chris Jansen - Buy Me a Boat

Go Your Own Way

Dear Littler Me,

It's Superbowl Sunday here in 2016, so you know what that means. ABSOLUTELY nothing. The same old thing is going on here in my house. I will say though, I have yet to roll my butt out of bed. I also have the hubby home today (the 1 day a week usually) and he actually served me coffee in bed. I know better than to push for breakfast. Not a good set up to my day imaging what our tiny kitchen would look like after the whole thing. Fifteen years ago you can tolerate the images knowing its the kids but when you become me, imagining the same at the hands of a grown man are a whole different thing.

Writing to you on a Sunday is sometimes difficult because I'm not alone at home and can't blare my music and  "do my thing". So here I am trolling through Google (which I told you about weeks ago) trying to determine which memory I can tell you about today. My computer screen is littered with pictures of PacMan, Culture Club, neon (which you don't wear) and Big Hair (which I'm so glad you don't have).

There is so much of the "this is the 80's" that even though you are living right now through it, you really never took part in.  So, what Did you do? I can tell you that pretty soon you are going to have a week vacation from school for ditching school and sneaking out to a concert in East Hanover. You are going to think you got away with it but.... Sorry kid. Maybe if you can keep your friend from watching MTV in front of her father you might not get in trouble but fat chance of that happening. The concert will be well worth it though so I won't tell you with who and which one.

I can also tell you that you are going to hang out in places you never thought you would and become part of things you could never imagine.  Not every day is going to be fun, not every day is going to be dull. I can promise you at the end of it all when you become me reflecting on where you've been you are going to have one thought.

Damn it was great!

Before you know it you will be me and it feels almost like you have had barely the time to blink in between being you and becoming me. Even the hard days you will look back on and be thankful for where they have brought you. I guess my biggest advice today for you dear younger me is drink it all in and make it your own. Keep doing what you are doing kid. You will be glad you did.

10 Points of Wisdom - Hard Days Are Coming

Dear Littler B,

I was sitting and thinking this morning about what to write to you and it dawned on me, in the almost 25 years that have passed between you becoming me - I have lived enough life for 3 people.  There has been good and there has been bad.  There have been so many times that would break a regular mortal. You/I have just been blessed to have been born with either the spine and fortitude of titanium or just the inability to see defeat in any situation. Only change and progress that might not have been our original goal.

I'm here at the keyboard and splitting mind time with the television while an old (well maybe not old to you) Eddie Murphy movie is on. The Golden Child. He has just gone through the maze to get the knife without spilling a drop of water. That is exactly what the years have been like for me. Somehow though we always seem to make it with minimal water spilled. (go to blockbuster and get the movie, you'll understand)


***************     INSERT SPOILER ALERT HERE     ********************

Hold on to your hat little me, things are about to begin on that road in a very short time.  Something is about to happen to you that is going to rock the foundation of every thing you know.  It seems that today it may be more accepted today - there will even be a really horrible reality show about it in a couple decades. Sometimes it seems as forward thinking as we are, society is also completely  in backwards motion.

You have had plans and imaginings of what you are going to do with your life. Bubble burst-er  that I seem to have become have the last week or so gives me no joy in letting you know that your about to let go of just about every one of them. More than letting go of them, you are actually going to be so much happier that you did.

You are about to become what you hate, a statistic. You are going to be a teenager who is pregnant.  People are not going to understand or be very kind. I promise they will get over it quickly and in a HUGE way.  Give them their time of shock.  Don't freak out. It seems like a ultimate nightmare scenario but it is going to set you on the path for the best possible things you will ever experience even still when you become me. It will also give you some of the absolute worse times, but the best will make up for it and make a lot of the hurt go right out of your mind.

Confusion is about to rule your brain for the next 24 years until you become me, I can tell you that with absolute certainty. Here is a good example.... One of your sons is going to tell you he joined the military in a few years and you spend the next few years not knowing if that was your proudest moment or the moment you hated more than any other. Jury is still out for me so we will have to discover that answer together. At least in weak moments you will always be able to hold over his head that you had to sell your last pair of combat boots for diapers. (Though wise ass that he is I am always half expecting him to show up with a pair of 14 hole oxblood Doc Martins in a gift bag for me one day)







Here are a few words of wisdom in what you are about to face:

1. Don't give up - It's easy to crawl in bed and cry, I know I've done it. You can handle this. When you need to, go ahead and do the cry bit but then put on your big girl pants and get back at it.

2. Laugh - When ever you possibly can and even when you can't.

3. Don't Spank - I tried it one time unfortunately on the child who is a nervous laugh-er, nuf said.

4. Celebrate the small things -  Any chance you can take joy and make a memory.

5. Don't get hung on materialistic things - Things are just things. I can't stress this enough. In years to come your curio cabinets are not populated by statues and plates that will break (and they will - look at Mom's old folks) They will be full of pinewood derby cars, painted minis and construction paper treasures.

6. Soap in the mouth is going to scar you not them - I only did this once when one of your daughters learned a certain word starting with the letter B. I still can't get that 10 seconds out of my head almost 20 years later.

7. National headlines fade - At one point believe it or not you are going to be getting your 15 minutes of fame over a judge determining religion of your children. Cry your tears and move on, the rest of the world will.

8.  Family is everything - Don't shut them out. Ever. They may not always agree with you, but they are always there for you. No matter what the situation.

9. I Love You - Never miss a chance to let anyone know how much you love them. You will never know if it is the last chance you will get.

10. This too shall pass - I leave you with these words from the wisest man I have ever known, Dad. He is a man of few words but when he opens his mouth to speak, always listen. No matter what the situation it is not the end of the world. (at least it hasn't been up until you become me). You will always find a way through things even when you don't think you can.


From a wiser yet still clueless,

Bigger Little B.



Guns N Roses - Live and Let Die
Def Leopard - Animal
Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield
Eagles - Tequila Sunrise
Fleetwood Mac - Dreams
Bob Segar & The Silver Bullet Band - Night Moves
Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight
Eagles - Desperado
The Allman Brothers Band - Midnight Rider
The Steve Miller Band - Take the Money and Run
 Eric Clapton - Layla
Eagles - Peaceful Easy Feeling
The Marshall Tucker Band - Cant You See
The Craig Lewis Band - Change is Gonna Come

I Really Miss MTV

Dear Littler B,

Greetings from across the years. The sun has just barely made its presence known here in Music City, yet here I sit with my 3rd or 4th cup of coffee tapping away at the keys. As a kick in the pants to get my day on I even got dressed and made the walk to the convenience store.



When I got back home I checked my twitter  in a valiant attempt to learn how to use it. (Don't even ask - you'll learn what it is in another couple decades and still will never understand it) One message among many that I received from a young musician caught my eye. It was a link to his video cover of a popular artists song (the cover was much better - trust me).  It was good, really good. It brought me back to once upon a time when I was you and I would spend hours in front of MTV and just get lost in the music. 


I think I was drawn to this message because of what kind of routine I have set myself. Coffee, music, letter and then (the cherry on the cake of my day) the feel good moments of the Ellen Degeneres show. Yep, believe it or not she will become one of the peoples choice for favorite daytime talk shows, go figure.

After looking at the sum of my daily routine it made me think that you would probably roll your eyes at the "old lady"ness of it all, but listen up butter cup.... All these years that have passed between me being you to me being me have really not changed me very much. I despise mornings. No matter how early I went to bed, morning comes and I could linger on my pillow as long as the dreams last.  In my head I am eternally 18.

Needless to say it makes it difficult with a mindset like that to be a grown up, but alas the years I have under my belt that you have yet to see force me to pretend. I am not sure if other adults who are busy in the act of adulting think the same thing.

It would be interesting to ask people and see what their take on it is.  Not that the answer would change me in any way. Some days I truly feel I should get an Oscar or something. I feel like I am only out here playing adult as a role in the production entitled Life on Earth.  I am now about 10 years older than mom is while you read this letter and I really don't feel half as grown up as she was. Maybe it's a personality flaw, maybe its just the typical aversion to doing what you are expected to do. I'm not really sure but I expect I may never understand the concept of "grown-up" like I never understood the concept of hate.  I guess that could be seen as not a bad thing, no?

Well, in the prospect of faking it till I make it I guess I will go tend to some of the urgent tasks that I have been neglecting but I can promise I will be blaring music, singing, dancing and flipping a finger to conformity while I do so.

In youthful exuberance,

Bigger Little B

Songs that kept my ears warm and fuzzy today


Richie Nuzz - Sorry
Michael Jackson - Thriller
Guns N Roses - Sweet Child of Mine
A-Ha - Take On Me
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Culture Club - Karma Chameleon
Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
 Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall
George Michael - Careless Whispers
Roxette - Listen To Your Heart
Queen - Another One Bites the Dust
Toto - Africa

When I Grow Up

Dear Little B,

I know it has been a few days since I wrote to you, I hope you are not too upset with me.  I have had to be away for a few days from my keyboard because I had a project that I had to work on. As I would love to say we are independently wealthy, sadly that is not the case. I spent the last 4 days doing a data job for a manufacturing company. Yesterday morning it ended so I went out last evening to celebrate by taking part in trivia night at a local grill. (Heads up for when you become the yesterday me - try not to celebrate as hard as I did. We might make it through today a lot better.)

Its late in the day today for me to be sitting and writing my letter but I am going to try to make the most of what bit of the day I have left before I have to go cook dinner and pretend that I have been at least a little bit productive during the last 10 hours. Luckily I'm pretty quick at restoring order so usually that is not very difficult. On top of that, your hubby is going to be the kind and forgiving type. Not sure how we got so lucky to find him. Call it many years of you paying it forward finally come to fruition.

Regardless, this brings me to the subject of today's letter. I figured I would in light of my last few days I would talk to you about what you become when you grow up. (I use that term VERY loosely as I'm still truly waiting to grow up) This is a rough letter because I want to try to make it as short as possible but you are going to have a broad and extensive list of trades. A career of trying new careers if you will. It has been fun at times and heart breaking at times. This is you though, always the one who enjoys being challenged and wanting to be able to say "yeah, I did that".



I know most kids have that dream of being something spectacular. One wants to be a doctor, another wants to be a fireman or ballerina, and then there is you who wanted to be a nun. I know that was when you were young because of the concept that you could spend your life devoted to helping people.  The reason I bring all of this up is to illustrate the fact that you wanted one thing then but even now for you, you have evolved and want to be something else entirely.  That is ok and even healthy, so don't worry so much about it.

As you have gotten older, if this letter finds you in the year I hope it will, you have evolved to wanting to be a writer. You even joined the Navy in hopes of going into journalism.  I hate to break your heart, but it is not going to work out quite like you dream.  Don't take it too hard, I promise that even though you don't become what you want you will still feel fulfilled enough to be happy.

If I can tell you one thing that you need to take from high school it is to pay attention in Mr. Lefke's typing class and maybe add in the new computer class that they recently created. I think little me that it has come in
quite handy that Dad is who he is. It will make the task of computer anything come very easily to you and will help you maintain a handle on the job market (at least it has for me so far).

I know that you may not be the things that you dream but please remember how you evolved into wanting to be a nun to wanting to be a writer. You will have many dreams and some of them will even come true, but not if you stop having them. You will evolve many times to come over the next couple decades and if I have anything to do with it there will be several more shades of me before it is time for us to get in the check out line and cash in my chips.

 Here are some of the things you have to look forward to being:

Cashier
Auditor
Application Developer
Web Designer
Color Guard Captain for over a decade
Waitress
Community Leader
Security Officer
President of the United States (only kidding)
Systems Analyst
Wedding Officiant & Reverend
Payroll Specialist
Project Manager
HAZMAT Inspector and Abatement Specialist
Haunted House Witch


Teacher
Mother

and so much more....


Don't ever stop dreaming,

Bigger Little B



Bill Medley - Time of My Life
J. Giles Band - Centerfold
Michael Jackson - Black or White
The Police - Every Breath You Take
Pat Benatar - We Belong
Bryan Adams - Heaven
Simple Minds - Don't You
U2 - With or Without You
Eric Carmen - Hungry Eyes
Motley Crue - Don't Go Away Mad

Even A Shade Of Mom

Dear Little B,

Today is a special day so I decided to do something special.  It's Mom's birthday, so here I sit playing Celtic music ....You are going to LOVE Pandora...., drinking coffee and remembering all the things that Mom will do for you. (and there will be a lot) This woman, who at a tender teenage year married and started the journey that you would join several days later along with your 4 sisters.

Mom is a tough bird who never loses that soft edge. If there is one thing I regret the most in life, its that I was never able to be half the mother she was and is. I don't say that because she was perfect (which she was in my eyes) but because no matter what is going to happen she is going to keep it together. So, here comes today's advice.

Your children are not going to be children long. You are going to have times you want to rip your hair out. You are going to want to scream at the top of your lungs. You are going to want to sit and cry and say "I can't do this!!!" but you will never think or say you wish you hadn't. Roll with the punches and learn to laugh.

One time, for example; you are going to be driving to work about an hour away in the horrible NJ traffic and you will think your oldest at 3 is sleeping peacefully like an angel in the back. HEADS UP! What he is really doing is using bright red lipstick that he pulled out of your purse to draw on as much of his face and your powder blue interior of your first car. If you hadn't been late for work and just pulling to a park at daycare you might have been able to find the situation as funny as I do now looking back on it. That one will be the devil himself and an absolute angel all rolled into one.


Little B, listen to me and heed my words here. They are going to challenge you both physically, financially and without equal emotionally. There will be times when you won't sleep for worrying about one of them being sick or not having enough to eat. There will also be times when your heart seems so full to bursting you couldn't imagine you could take any more. When you become me, you relish every bit of those times - bad and good alike. Even when they become horrible teenagers and you can never do any right.

Time with your children is going to be short, savor every single second. Include them in everything you do. Let them help you make dinner even if it will take twice as long as be twice as hard to clean up. It will help you on your journey to becoming even half the woman she is and even more it will give your own kids those moments to remember.

Be honest with yourself even if you can't be with everyone else (like that time you are going to be chasing a rainbow in Parsippany with the kids and are going to hit the car in front of you with Mom's car). Make memories with your kids because in the end, like it or not, if all works well they will leave and those memories will surround you when they no longer have the time to do so. Enjoy your time and keep a sense of humor and strive to be even a shade of mom.

Lipsticklessly yours,

Bigger Little B

The Corrs - Runaway
Six Pence None the Richer - Kiss Me
Sophie B. Hawkins - As I Lay Me Down
Gaelic Storm - The Devil Went Down to Doolin
Paddy Reily - The Town I Loved So Well
The High Kings - The Wild Rover (No Nay Never)
The Dubliners - The Partin' Glass
Foster & Allen - Maggie
Paddy Riley - The Old Refrain
The Irish Rovers - The Black Velvet Band
The Dubliners - Whiskey in the Jar
Sharon Shannon - The Gallway Girl
The High Kings - Red Is The Rose
 The High Kings - Will Ye Go Lassie?
The Clancy Boys - Wild Colonial Boy bedb821fa30d00a3cce60ed5fb7bca0635e3f0952f990be0ee