Sunday, February 14, 2016

That Love Stuff

Dear Littler Me,

Good morning to you from the day of love 2016.  I sit here quietly in the wee hours of the morning on the bed next to our sleeping hubby trying to type quietly so as not to wake him. Today is Valentines day, a day to focus on love and all things mushy. Luckily for me we've been to penny tight to be able to take part in the commercialism of the day so it has for the most part remained about spending time with each other and the "feeling" crap, untainted by the need to ply each other with gifts to "prove" we love each other.

This may not sound like the ideal dream to a 16 or 17 year old (what ever age you are when this reaches you) but I promise you it is. I do know you a bit since I'm lucky enough to have the inside scoop so I know you are not the average teenager. Feelings are more important to you than things. I guess we just got lucky to be who we are.

Where you are in the 1988ish time frame you are no different than I am here. The things that make you happy is to know that someone thought of you and to know you are loved. That is one thing, dear littler me you will never have to worry about. You have been loved by many over the years. The best of them being an amazing father who will be bringing you and your sisters flowers as he does every year. (it will be hard to ever find a guy who measures up to the kind, gentle, giving man that is daddy)

If this letter reaches you during the right year, you will have carnations bought for you at school by a guy who doesn't even attend the same school. You will see him of and on, one of your first loves. Even until you become me you still have the notes from those flowers tucked into a photo album next to a picture of the two of you in Disney.

Your loves, though fiery and exciting and you will love every single one of them, will come and go in your life and will make you feel like you are not worthy of that lasting love like Mom & Dad have. To this day you think back fondly on all of them who have been in your life and thank them for the piece of their life that they gave to you. The one who traded up for your best friend, the one who
joined the Army, the one who joined the Air Force, the one who was in the band, the one who was a gardener, the one who loved his mother more in the end, the one who lit the sky on fire, the one who walked on the wild side.

After a long life of love, none have been better than the one waking beside me in the young hours of a Sunday morning here in 2016 in Nashville. I will not tell you too much about him because I don't want to spoil the meet up or space time continuum and all that happy scientific horse puckey. Let it be said though, you will know him the moment you see him fumbling with his keys after standing him up two times. He is still going to give you a chance and forever think it is you who gave him a chance.

We may not be able to get gifts for each other, but we have the day to give each other and that my dear little me is all you ever need.

Lovingly yours,

Bigger Little B

Today the following entertained my ears:


Such a heart warming post of nostalgia. I had to read it twice. A great concept to write to your younger self, to think about what might have been if you made different decisions and walked a different path.

Such a heart warming post of nostalgia. I had to read it twice. A great concept to write to your younger self, to think about what might have been if you made different decisions and walked a different path.

Thank you Maggie's Freedom Farms! It truly has been a journey of self discovery that I hope is only at it's beginnings! I often wonder, would I make different choices or make sure I go through exactly the same heartache so I can make sure to land right where I am today.

I should write one for my younger self, I have to scold her for the dumbest decisions she made, and for all the troubles she got herself into. But also, I have to thank her that my 2016 is another year of survival.

I thought that would be the way this would go but then I stopped and realized the things that I became after going through those stupid decisions. What a fun exercise this has been, I strongly recommend it to everyone!

I have been wanting to write a letter to my younger self but would just lose enthusiasm as I feel like I am feeling like wanting to correct something from the past which will not make me who I am today if ever. But this letter made me realize that I don't really need to tell my younger self to correct something or instead doing a thing but just talk to her as a person that I was. :)

Lord knows that I wish I could send a letter like this to my younger self every now and then. I still would hope to end up where I am now, but it wouldn't have hurt to have a few tips along the way! Great post, I loved reading it over for sure.

I really appreciate your candor. Agreed, don't go messing with the Space-Time Continuum on account of my curiosity I wish you well and hope he is walking next to you next valentine's day.

Thank you! I take one day at a time and have had a blast with the last 8 of them. Here's to many more going the way they are meant to be!

It's been a great learning tool. More than telling my younger self what to watch out for, I've been slapped up side the head by the metaphorical her. Thanks for the comment!

I think this project has made me realize exactly what you just said. I talk to her as if she was a person - because she/I was in my head at the time. It has made me look at being a mother and a daughter in a whole new way as well. Seeing Mom & Dad as teenagers and my daughters and sons as not children!

This is so cute! Love the idea of writing letters to our past selves!

This is such a good idea to write to your old selve. Is this therapeutic as well? Or just for fun? Must be a deeper meaning to it...

WOW! I must say this is a twist to what I had been coaching some people.

As part of mindsetting one's self and motivating, one of the things we do is write from the future, having already succeeded in our goals, and telling ourselves today how it is worth all the hard work and sacrifices.

In your case, you have just appreciated everything in the past for you love what you have today.

Hmm, not sure how to take that one :-). I am one of those rare birds that even if the glass only has a little tiny bit of lemonade I say "Yay! I have lemonade!". No matter how tough times get, I will always see the positive in things. Every miss-step or triumph has led to me and that is something I am very happy with. Trying to prep my young self for the hard work she would go through is the most sure way to make her run the other way! haha

Thanks Ginger! I highly recommend it for everyone!

Thanks Sabine! It has been a real eye opener, especially for the parts of me at 43 that may have gotten cynical. It is (unintended) a wonderful therapeutic tool. It started just for fun and then has taken on a life of its own. Mostly this started after a conversation to my 20yr old daughter, trying to put myself in her shoes in a recent situation. I am a big time-travel buff and I started thinking about if she and I met at the same age, how would it go?

This is the best post I've read in a long time! Love is so tricky at any age but especially in your teens! I wish I could write my younger self and tell her it's ok that sometimes love doesn't work out and that its ok to have loved and lost because here I am in 2016 with my soul mate, it's not perfect but together we are amazing! Once again I really loved reading this post, was it a therapeutic exercise for you? I'd imagine that got me it would lay rest some things that I hold on to.

You are definitely a woman full of love for your hubby. With such a romantic post like this, I imagine your man reading this then hugging you tight afterwards. Happy Valentine's Day :)

Thank you Georgia! My blog was actually a by-product from multiple conversations with my daughter, though it has had a happy therapeutic after-math. If I could have just had the opportunity to talk to myself about what was going to happen as if she was a normal person, not a kid. Can't wait to see how this goes!

Thank you! Yes, I have paid it forward many years to have the absolutely wonderful love of my husband, my family and my friends. I will let you know as soon as he reads it! LOL

I love Amadeus. Did you like it? Hope you has a great Valentine's Day and that your romance never dies. :)

I wanna write to my younger self too and warn her about meeting a-holes who will break her heart. #JustKidding

Seriously. I find this therapeutic. There are times when I look back in the past and suddenly feel regret in my past decisions and it starts to color my present experiences. but I don't focus on the negatives anymore. I understand that my past boyfriends helped me become the woman I am today. Because of them, I'm not a little girl anymore. =)

I absolutely LOVE Amadeus. I grew up with a harpsichord in my living room and always Mozart, Rachmaninoff or some sort of classical music coming from what ever room my father was in at the time. It was a family favorite which has stuck with me all these years later. Valentines day was also wonderful, hope yours was as well!

That is the truth Rhoda! While I've been wondering how to address it in a letter I have many of the same experiences. I have been in a couple of violent relationships mentally and physically yet somehow I would probably go through them again as they were what gave me the backbone I have today and appreciation for the wonderful as well.

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