Saturday, February 6, 2016
10 Points of Wisdom - Hard Days Are Coming
Dear Littler B,
I was sitting and thinking this morning about what to write to you and it dawned on me, in the almost 25 years that have passed between you becoming me - I have lived enough life for 3 people. There has been good and there has been bad. There have been so many times that would break a regular mortal. You/I have just been blessed to have been born with either the spine and fortitude of titanium or just the inability to see defeat in any situation. Only change and progress that might not have been our original goal.
I'm here at the keyboard and splitting mind time with the television while an old (well maybe not old to you) Eddie Murphy movie is on. The Golden Child. He has just gone through the maze to get the knife without spilling a drop of water. That is exactly what the years have been like for me. Somehow though we always seem to make it with minimal water spilled. (go to blockbuster and get the movie, you'll understand)
*************** INSERT SPOILER ALERT HERE ********************
Hold on to your hat little me, things are about to begin on that road in a very short time. Something is about to happen to you that is going to rock the foundation of every thing you know. It seems that today it may be more accepted today - there will even be a really horrible reality show about it in a couple decades. Sometimes it seems as forward thinking as we are, society is also completely in backwards motion.
You are about to become what you hate, a statistic. You are going to be a teenager who is pregnant. People are not going to understand or be very kind. I promise they will get over it quickly and in a HUGE way. Give them their time of shock. Don't freak out. It seems like a ultimate nightmare scenario but it is going to set you on the path for the best possible things you will ever experience even still when you become me. It will also give you some of the absolute worse times, but the best will make up for it and make a lot of the hurt go right out of your mind.
Confusion is about to rule your brain for the next 24 years until you become me, I can tell you that with absolute certainty. Here is a good example.... One of your sons is going to tell you he joined the military in a few years and you spend the next few years not knowing if that was your proudest moment or the moment you hated more than any other. Jury is still out for me so we will have to discover that answer together. At least in weak moments you will always be able to hold over his head that you had to sell your last pair of combat boots for diapers. (Though wise ass that he is I am always half expecting him to show up with a pair of 14 hole oxblood Doc Martins in a gift bag for me one day)
Here are a few words of wisdom in what you are about to face:
1. Don't give up - It's easy to crawl in bed and cry, I know I've done it. You can handle this. When you need to, go ahead and do the cry bit but then put on your big girl pants and get back at it.
2. Laugh - When ever you possibly can and even when you can't.
3. Don't Spank - I tried it one time unfortunately on the child who is a nervous laugh-er, nuf said.
4. Celebrate the small things - Any chance you can take joy and make a memory.
5. Don't get hung on materialistic things - Things are just things. I can't stress this enough. In years to come your curio cabinets are not populated by statues and plates that will break (and they will - look at Mom's old folks) They will be full of pinewood derby cars, painted minis and construction paper treasures.
6. Soap in the mouth is going to scar you not them - I only did this once when one of your daughters learned a certain word starting with the letter B. I still can't get that 10 seconds out of my head almost 20 years later.
7. National headlines fade - At one point believe it or not you are going to be getting your 15 minutes of fame over a judge determining religion of your children. Cry your tears and move on, the rest of the world will.
8. Family is everything - Don't shut them out. Ever. They may not always agree with you, but they are always there for you. No matter what the situation.
9. I Love You - Never miss a chance to let anyone know how much you love them. You will never know if it is the last chance you will get.
10. This too shall pass - I leave you with these words from the wisest man I have ever known, Dad. He is a man of few words but when he opens his mouth to speak, always listen. No matter what the situation it is not the end of the world. (at least it hasn't been up until you become me). You will always find a way through things even when you don't think you can.
From a wiser yet still clueless,
Bigger Little B.
Guns N Roses - Live and Let Die
Def Leopard - Animal
Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield
Eagles - Tequila Sunrise
Fleetwood Mac - Dreams
Bob Segar & The Silver Bullet Band - Night Moves
Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight
Eagles - Desperado
The Allman Brothers Band - Midnight Rider
The Steve Miller Band - Take the Money and Run
Eric Clapton - Layla
Eagles - Peaceful Easy Feeling
The Marshall Tucker Band - Cant You See
The Craig Lewis Band - Change is Gonna Come
Labels: Creative, dance, experiment, explore, heal, hurt, inspiration, laugh, music, Parenting, patience, Pregnancy, remember, sex, sing, Teen
NJ / NY girl living near Nashville. Eternal old school NYC punk sk8r girl. Mom of 4. Blue Star mom. Teacher, counselor, artist, and writer.