Understanding

Dear Littler B,

I have been mostly positive in the letters that I have been sending to you through this funnel of time, but I know that you are fully aware that all your days are not going to be able to be sunny and you have to be ok with that. So here is a letter about the days that are not.
 

It is amazing how the people who know you the most understand you the least. I don't know if it is that they know who you are and expect you to make special dispensation for them or if they just decided to get close to you so they can get to know you without having to do the work of truly learning the balance of life - coexistence with you. 

Coexistence is a loaded subject. It means you live in harmony with them. It is a tender balance, you give they take - they give you take. The teeter totter that is life. It may not be an easy state to achieve but it is one that is well worth it.  You are going to become so very used to giving without taking, and finding someone who is willing to give is going to be more than a challenge even when you get my age.  If someone truly cares about you they will care about all of you. The perfection and the imperfection.  One day you will be someone's song bird and another the other one you are with will only get irritated by you putting on music and getting lost in it.  One will encourage you to get on that stage no matter what kind of ass you will make of yourself, the others will keep you in the living room, kitchen, mold of what is expected.


Every time you spend with someone new needs to be a whole new set of rules and a whole new you. The old conceptions of who you are have to be redeveloped while maintaining the core of who you are.  Not an easy task to say the least.  Those who are meant to play a big part in your life will understand those things about you. You will not have to be ok with losing so much of who you are that you don't recognize yourself in the mirror.  They will accept you for who you are and not who fits into their concept of what a companion should be. 

While I can tell you that you are going to have some amazing times with amazing people who want to understand you, be with you for you and accept and incorporate the real you into their own being; I can also tell you there are going to be those pretenders.  You will know them in an instant even when you want to pretend you don't. They are the ones who will want you to take care of them, be their trophy, be their mother, be their bedroom entertainment (yes believe it or not), be their comic relief. Don't give them the time of day because if you do you know you will give them a piece of your heart when they don't deserve it.


You will find that one eventually that will be with you for you, one that will encourage you to be you in all the dorky magnificence that you can be.  Don't be afraid to go after it when you find it. Don't let your doubt get in the way, don't let others doubt get in the way.

It's your life to live baby girl and don't you ever forget that fact. When it is right you will know it. When it is wrong you will know it even faster. Don't buck the system that is intuition. It will only lead to regrets at some point down the road.  You do you and let the rest of the world fuck themselves. In the long run if you don't have your own back, no one else will.

In strength and without ragret,

No Ragrets... Not a single letter.

Sad Sappy Songs to Keep Me Company Today


Dixie Chicks - Landslide
Sinead O'Conner - Nothing Compares 2 U
Elvis - Suspicious Minds
Eiffel 65 - Blue
Dixie Chicks - Goodbye Earl
Trisha Yearwood - She's in love with the boy
Deana Carter - Strawberry Wine
Nelly Frutado - I'm Like A Bird
Cam - Burning House
Lee Ann Womak - Dance
Dixie Chicks - You Were Mine
Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball
Shania Twain - Any Man of Mine
Brad Paisley / Allison Krause - Whiskey Lullibye
Sara Evans - A Little Bit Stronger
The Band Perry - If I Die Young
Dixie Chicks - Not Ready To Make Nice

To My Dark Knight

Celebrate The Smalls

Dear Littler B,

First and foremost I need to apologize for yesterday's letter. Fear and panic ruled the day yesterday. I can tell you that even though you have "grown up" (notice that is in quotes), you have not necessarily shed all of your issues. Just traded one set of worries for another. That's part of life. If you didn't worry about something/someone it means you really don't care as much as you think.

You are human. You need to try to remember that. The beautiful perfect imperfection that is humanity. You are going to have days that you doubt, you are going to have (more than your share) of days that you panic, and you are going to have days where you just don't know what to do.

What you need to know is that you are going to have to keep on going and keep on trying.  Things always find a way of working out the way they are supposed to in the end. The results may not take on the shape of the win you expect, however they take on the shape of the win that is supposed to be.  Life is a great big balance. Everything finds a way to even out in the end.

Today, for example it's time to move forward. One of the things that ensures you don't stay stagnant in life is the fact that you adopt early on an attitude of measuring and pushing yourself. You set goals. I can not begin to tell you how well this will serve you over the course of my last 25 years.  Not just the big things like most people do, but the little things.



The most important aspect of these goals is that you let yourself celebrate achieving each one. I'm not saying go spend a lot of money and go crazy because you hit a daily quota but RECOGNIZE!  So many people don't know how important it is to your self-worth to allow yourself to do that simple yet important thing! No matter how small or how large, you set an achievement - give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back!

While these letters have been intended for you, I set myself a goal. I determined that if these letters had fallen into the hands of 2500 other people I would celebrate it by transferring these letters over to a dedicated web site instead of a generic website designed to house letters like this for many people. It is an exciting day for me. I am not quite sure what it is going to look like yet, how it is going to
operate or if it is a wise move but I can't wait to see where the next leg of this journey takes us.

How am I going to celebrate? I'm going to award myself with a few hours away from the computer to walk the trails at the V.A. and enjoy the non-digital sun, the non-mp3 sounds of the birds (don't worry you'll know what that is in a few years) and the non-photoshopped absolutely beautiful people of the town.  In essence, I'm giving myself a day off.

Celebrate, dear littler me. Celebrate the big achievements and the small. You will live a much happier life if you do.

Putting on my shoes and taking off,

Today's Celebration Music Provided By

Kool & The Gang - Celebrate
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup
Smash Mouth - All Star
Bachman Turner Overdrive - Takin Care of Business
Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
Katy Perry - Firework
Black Eyed Peas - I Got a Feeling
Kenny Loggins - Footloose
Madonna - Holiday

Whispers

Dear Littler B,

Though I don't have an actual letter prepared today as I have so very much to catch up on in the real world that I have been neglecting since our first letter. I was tagged on a photo today from one of my very best friends and it was too ironic not to send to you.  Listen to the whispers on the wind and I will do the same.

Here's whispering to you kid!

Bigger Little B

Thank you HH for the tag!