Not Always Great to Tolerate...

Dear Littler B,

It has been a while since I've written to you. I know my last several letters to you have started out like that; however when the time passes and you become me you will understand exactly why. All I can ask of you is patience and indulgence until I can get back to our regular schedule.

It is a hot Sunday afternoon here in 2017, one that is supposed to be "Fall".  That word is a bit laughable being that you will eventually migrate to the southern state of Tennessee. Real Fall does not actually happen here. You will end up with about 2 weeks of cool weather until the "winter" sets in. (also quite laughable based on the season you are used to).


In the meantime, today I am here to talk to you today about tolerance. There are many forms of tolerance. I've added the exact definition as per Dictionary.com below for any who may see this letter outside of us. This subject came to my mind today because of an occurrence with a local man who today has gone into a church and open fired on the congregation. It makes me think of all the time that has elapsed in the journey of you becoming me. The changes you will see and go through my dear little one, are enough to make a weaker person run scared and hide under the security of their blankets and weep. I don't tell you this to scare you, but to ensure you that you are so much stronger than you realize or will ever give yourself credit for.

Credit: Odyssey

People talk about tolerance in the aspect of religion or race. When you become me you will have heard many times about the need to practice more tolerance, especially as three of your 4 children will be Jewish. Today's shooting smacks very much of a recent church shooting centered around race. I know how you feel when it comes to all this stuff because over the years separating us the sentiment has never changed. Never have I understood the theory of hate. Never have I felt the feeling of discrimination for others. Though the decades that separate us seem like a very long time to you, life is truly too short to ever embody those types of sentiments. Peace can never be found in a society that turns against itself. I'm sorry to say that this has not changed since my days as you.

Credit: EliteTrack

Don't get me wrong dear one. Having tolerance does not mean you have to deal with everything and everyone. (See definition 4 below) The act or capacity of enduring. Throughout the many years it will take you to develop into the wise woman (haha) that is me, you will force yourself to tolerate or endure many things. Yearly, weekly and daily.


There will be much that you accept and put up with that others will simply not. There will be good and bad to this. Be sure my love that you step back and look at the big picture when you are going through things that seem unendurable yet you persevere. If there is no benefit to you or those you love, why are you doing it?  Are you doing it because you fear change? Fear the unknown on the other side? I can promise you now that while it will not be easy, you and all humans tend to tolerate a lot more than they need to.


Do not doubt yourself my young self. I encourage you to not accept that which does not serve. I encourage you to let go of hurtful, harmful or narrow-minded relationships. Do the unexpected and release negativity in order to open enough room to embrace positivity. That which does not nurture the big picture can tend to become very toxic.  As Morpheus (don't worry, you'll learn who that is later) puts it... FREE YOUR MIND.



What people get so wrong is that they believe that they have to take a negative approach with regards to tolerance. When something is more than they can endure in their own mind, they pull out a can of paint or pull down a statue or worse yet pull out a gun. Not enough people understand that that never solves any issue, only inflames it. Take a positive approach or walk away. Mom is right when she says to you "you get more bees with honey".


I am proud of you for being as level-headed and balanced as you are. Your open-mindedness is a virtue. You can usually diffuse any situation and can usually communicate with all. I am glad that is a gift you were given that has remained through the years. It has without a doubt served us well.


I know I have gone on and on here dear littler me so I will end my letter here with just one thought. There is a very old Cherokee story that unbelievably you will not encounter for many many years. I am proud that for the majority of your life you have lived the wisdom of this story without ever even having heard it. Maybe not as much as I would have liked, but tomorrow is a new day and today is not yet done.

Credit: JesseJeanine

Hopefully yours,

Bigger Little B

tolerance

[tol-er-uh ns] 

 

• Synonyms
• Examples
• Word Origin

See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com

noun

1.

a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, beliefs, practices, racial or ethnic origins, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.

2.

a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions, beliefs, and practices that differ from one's own.

3.

interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.

4.

the act or capacity of enduring; endurance:

My tolerance of noise is limited.

5.

Medicine/Medical, Immunology.

1. the power of enduring or resisting the action of a drug, poison,etc.:
   a tolerance to antibiotics.
2. the lack of or low levels of immune response to transplanted tissue or other foreign substance that is normally immunogenic.

6.

Machinery.

1. the permissible range of variation in a dimension of an object.
   Compare allowance (def 8).
2. the permissible variation of an object or objects in some characteristic such as hardness, weight, or quantity.

7.

Also called allowance. Coining. a permissible deviation in the fineness and weight of coin, owing to the difficulty of securing exact conformity to the standard prescribed by law.

The Unexpected Holiday

Sometimes life throws the unexpected at you. Our anniversary getaway in a nutshell.

PLEASE HELP - WE HAVE 15 HOURS TO GO TO SAVE OUR HOME AND ARE STILL $500 SHORT.

Dear Littler B,

Instead of writing a letter to you today, I opted to make a video to show you some of the things to look forward to when you become me. What an exciting adventure that March of 2016 will become for you.

Our adventure took place in scenic downtown Nashville, TN otherwise known as Music City, USA.  Watch the video to learn a bit more about this whirlwind of a trip.

"Together, there is nothing we can't get through."





Please watch the video and share with everyone you can.   Enjoy and keep up the faith, hope, courage and strength. 

Counting our many blessings,

Bigger Little B

Please click here to Help Support Toby's Journey

10 Reasons Strokes Suck

Dear Littler B,

It has been days since my last letter but in a flimsy attempt to merge current life with the real world outside of this hospital. After so many weeks I thought I would address a missing challenge that was put to me in the guise of trying to deal with current events.  I was asked to write a top 10 list so, here it is in my experience. The top 10 reasons strokes suck when it happens to the man you love.

There may be more, and better ones dear littler me but these are some of the ones that I have compiled over the last 3 weeks since they began. Unfortunately my dear younger self, there is truly no one of these that are of more or less impact so the order of the list is irrelevant.

1. I don't know who he is

I think I put this one up here because it is one of the more scary aspects of this all. You will deal with Grumpy Gus when he is sick over the years, but never argumentative. Never has he been harsh to you. When I say you found Prince Charming when you found Toby, it is the truth.

You are smart enough to know that he is scared, angry, frustrated and confused in turns. He doesn't mean to take any of it out on you but what he does know that you love him enough to be the one to absorb it and get over it in ways you need to in an appropriate fashion than he can at this time.  The thing that sucks the most about this is that with a stroke, it is unknown if the personality change is permanent due to the location of the stroke.

One day at a time baby girl. Screw that, one hour at a time.

Every once in awhile he is himself. The other day the OT was working on increasing his ocular muscles to help him while she was doing visual acuity exercises to help reduce double vision and he decided he wanted to me video it to show everyone his eyes are better than Steve Buscemi as Crazy Eyes in Mr. Deeds.




2. The body betrays
When you get to be me dear one, your spine will have been operated on several times and needs to be several more.

You are not leaving him. That is that. Every day you will spend in the hospital next to his side. He would do the same for you. People just don't understand how it is with us. We don't part. Since the day we met we don't leave each other for any extended period of time.  Now onto the explanation here of the body betrayal.

There will be times when you will sleep not at all, there will be times when you will sleep sitting up, there will be times when you will be sleeping on a cot that is an inch thick. It will hurt at times so bad that you can't breathe. Never let them see you sweat it through this if you can. There is nothing you can do about it and that is just one of those things that will keep you awake through this.

"This too shall pass - though I know not when"



3. Hurry up and slow down
Just when you think you are making progress, you're thrown back. There are a lot of things to handle now that there is only going to be one of you.  You have to take it all on not let him think about it. At the same time you need to force him to slow down because he is trying to hurry through everything just to get out of the hospital and back in the driver seat of life.  He is very far from that and he will refuse to realize how far.  You have to be strong when he gets angry for being there as the soundboard when he gets yelled at to put the breaks on by you, nurses, doctors and therapists of all flavors.


4. Spinning Plates
This is the one that I'm struggling with especially during the writing of this letter.  Today has been a bad day for keeping the plates spinning.  I know you know that reference where you are in the late 80s being able to still watch Johnny Carson (oops, spoiler again).



After making it home for the first time in several weeks (unfortunately they have a very strict 3 day pay or quit policy at Chariot Pointe Apts) there was a note on the door about the beginning of eviction. That is to be expected with as long as you will be in the hospital for this.

Hold on to your sanity dear younger me, that in combination with the electricity not working will shake what little backbone you cling to.  If we are able to come up with the money we can save our home. Toby losing his job over this and his being our only income at this time (Spoiler - you are going to be downsized again)  - the plates have started dropping. Not sure today how to get them going again - that will have to be a post for another time.

Some amazing colleagues of mine put together a GOFUNDME site, but what stranger wants to give even a dollar to someone they don't know in this day and age?

Click Here to help support Toby's journey

5. Uncontrolled emotions
You are the strong one dear littler me. You are the one who handles all of the affairs at home and keeps things running. You are the motivator. Usually, you are the income as well. You keep your cool in public. You are the go to guy for so very many people.

Until now

Heads up, you will cry a lot for no reason at all in the most bizarre places.  Just roll with it. I'll let you know if there is a solution if anyone ever lets me know.





6. To help or not to help, that is the question
See the last item first paragraph. (only kidding)  There is a lot that you are trying to deal with to try to make the outside world stay functioning when the world inside the hospital is not functioning.  Toby wants to do everything on his own except if you are not paying attention to him. By nature you are the help everyone type and this is one situation where you can not go on overload. Even though you want to and will. There will be times when he doesn't need help but wants it and times he truly needs help and you won't realize it. He needs to do things himself unless he can't.
Do these statements confuse you? Good, they do me as well. There are times he needs help and won't ask for it. Instead he will point or say things like "it would be nice if someone would handle this since I can't. You have tried the "you know how to do this" and the "you have to try". Tough love? Doesn't work. Sweet love? Doesn't work. Yet they all work when used in the right point in time. Unfortunately to date I have not figured out when those points in time are and just when I do they change. Hoping this will ease. I sound like a broken record but I will have to let you know on that one as well.



7. Fear of the unknown
With everything happening, we have a new normal every day.  The mystical "They" have said when we reach somewhere around the 6 month point, what is going to get better will have. Hearing gone because of the severe tinnitus, lip drop, ocular mischief, double vision, strength, balance, ATTITUDE. In the potpourri of misfires going on in his brain/body connection, what are we going to end up with and am I strong enough to help him through it? I pray every day, it's a good thing you paid attention to that where you are in the time stream.

Without our home, where will we go? How will I support a man who very well may no longer be able to take care of himself? I was denied unemployment hilariously enough because I was a no-call no-show when they say they offered me an assignment. Voicemail that my husband is in critical care (which you don't know about yet, its the digital version of answering machines) is not enough . Food stamps? Denied. His job? Lost.


8. TMI baby but never TMI
The staff at the hospital has been absolutely amazing. I can not say that enough. The nursing staff, the doctors, the valets (who even walked a guitar up to the 6th floor to his room because not having hands enough). They all have sources to call and information to read and websites to research that information overload has been reached.  Unfortunately none of them are able to lead to anyplace that doesn't lead to / say need to try something else.

One brain (ours not his) is just not big enough to comprehend this whole thing.  The case worker here even assigned to assist said "I'm sorry I have no suggestions for you". I have always considered myself an educated and level headed person. You will work very hard to get to that, however right now I'm clueless. What do I do now?

"Life didn't prepare me for this."



 
9. Loneliness

Toby and I have always said that there is nothing that he and I can't get through together. The problem is physically a man who resembles Toby is here but dear Slim Shady can you change the lyrics to your song? I'm waiting for the real Toby Martin to please stand up. I'm not sure I can be me and him until he is him again. I'm going to do my best dear little one because he is worth that.

10. When is the next one?
The first one I watched was 3 days after our honeymoon but never was it to this extent. 3 strokes into this, all I can think is when is the next one and will it be the one to take him for good from us?

Don't fear littler me, some how we will see the other side of this one way or another.

Exhausted-ly yours,

Challenge with my girls.  Thanks http://www.womanpulse.com for keeping me moving forward.

See other blogs in the weekly challenge here

WomanPulse

Have A Cup Of JoHanny 

When I See You

Dear Littler B,

Just had to share this video because this is how I am feeling without my husband. He is here physically but not mentally after his stroke. Don't fear dear younger me. We will get him back and we can talk then all about it.  I miss him so dearly, but day by day we will find him. We have always said that we will never

I can't wait till the day you become the me of years ago and encounter him for the first time. You will, like I did, fall in love instantly.

Treasure every moment you have with him and know that even though he is not here now, he is worth every second and he will be back.

Bigger Little B


Your ever supportive,

Bigger Little B

Message of Love

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT TOBY'S GO FUND ME. EVEN A DOLLAR GOES A LONG WAY!


Dear Littler Me,

I am writing to you today across the many years from the 3rd hospital cafeteria in less than two weeks.  It has been a long haul already and we have so much longer to go. I hope you have not been feeling neglected, but it will be some time longer to get through this and back to our normal correspondence.

I will tell you that you are stubborn and strong and will get through this. I'm not sure when or how but you will. You are going to hurt very badly physically and emotionally but you can and will do this.  You are going to have times you will feel sorry for yourself (like yesterday which was our wedding anniversary) and then you are going to hate yourself for even thinking those feelings.

People are telling you that all this is normal but quite honestly none of this shit is normal. Just a heads up. They will all also be obsessed with you eating for some reason. Everyone who is anyone is also telling me now, more than ever I need to sit and write. ESPECIALLY Toby himself. (He's actually being a big pest about it, so here I am for the first time since this all went down)


Our wedding song which I listened to several times yesterday which was a change up from @BillyBoydActor who I have had on loop for a week and a half solid.

Right now I am going to seaway into the actual story that has happened up to here.  The woman in me that is fighting to keep her physical pain and anxiety issues at bay would tell you to look away from the page until I tell you it's ok to look again so that you don't freak about the things you are going to go through when you become me. I would tell you nothing that would have you not find this man when the time comes and spend every waking and sleeping that second you can with him.

 I will let that choice be yours and as you are me, I know you will read every bit.

*****INSERT SPOILERS HERE*******

A week ago Saturday we ended up in the local emergency room at St. Thomas Rutherford as he had a migraine headache.  The headaches are not new so we thought it was just get something for it, sleep it off and wake in the morning and he would be fine.

Unfortunately, a 14cm aneurysm was located in his basal artery in his brain. It was bad enough that the doctor on call did not feel comfortable keeping him there at the hospital, he wanted him transferred to St. Thomas West.  He was transported to Nashville at about 2 AM and he made me go home for the night. At that point, things seemed as if he was fine and we were going to just go up there for a 24 hour monitor. When I arrived in the AM at the new hospital with his clothes and personal paraphernalia I went to the doctor to understand what was going on and the game plan was.

The doctor intended to do a spinal tap to determine if the aneurysm was leaking. When he was brought back from having the lumbar puncture he fell asleep for about 2 hours.  When he woke he was in massive pain, his neck swollen and dizzy and nauseous.  All of it him at once and he had an anxiety attack and started ripping the heart monitor leads off of him and started screaming that he had to get out of the bed.  The on duty nurse let him do that and we got him a bucket to be sick in.

Within a matter of minutes it was apparent what was happening. He was having a third stroke. He was put back in bed and they started testing him. By the end of the night he had lost control of the muscles to keep his eyes straight. His mouth has dropped on one side. His left side is very numb (face, head, arm, leg) His speech is slurred and he is not able to walk on his own.

The next day they did an angiogram and determined that his aneurysm is essentially straddling the vein on both sides and the doctor does not feel it can be operated on safely. He has had uncontrollable hypertension (High Blood Pressure) to add to the mix so avoiding yet another stroke is very difficult.

All of this has happened when rent and electricity were due so the power has been shut off at home and we very possibly have lost everything yet again when we had just started bouncing back after our tragedy last year.  Chariot Pointe Apts (where we moved to be close to the V.A. in Murfreesboro, TN) has a very strict 3 day pay or quit policy.














Unfortunately, as I was downsized at my job. Toby's job was the only income we had. That disappeared when he had this stroke so I'm not sure where we will stand when this is all over.  Someone yesterday was going let me follow them from the hospital as I don't know Nashville well so that I could get him some clean clothes. They lead me out of town to a mall that had stores like Nordstrom and Armani. I walked around the mall like a zombie and then just went out to my car and cried at the ridiculousness of it all. Eventually I found a Wal-Mart after being lost for 45 minutes in South Nashville because neither of our phones are charging correctly for GPS use. 


PLEASE CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT TOBY'S GO FUND ME. EVEN A DOLLAR GOES A LONG WAY!



Needless to say, I think for the most part I have been holding it together..... In front of him and other people. My broken record in my head has been:

"Give me the strength to get through this, if not give me  strength not to show it in front of him."

He has been insisting on videoing everything that we can and we have obtained permission from the administrator from the program. He has been a multi-year winner in the 48hr project and loves to make videos. He has even worked on the set of The Green Mile and Jackass II (movies you won't know for years), so this journey he decided to get in front of the camera as much as possible. For him I will do what ever is important to him and his wishes. We have put together multiple videos so far but only 3 have been published.

One of his first attempt to walk with the nurses

One of them his message of love and thanks for my blogging friends who set up the GOFUNDME site in hopes of helping us not lose our home and everything in it so that I can stay by his side.

And the last one, a random act of kindness of a man who sat with him in the lobby of the hospital when they allowed me to bring him for some air.

******END SPOILERS********

So in closing dear younger me, even with all the trials and tribulations that I am going through, I would not change one thing so I am hoping you don't either.  He may not be the same man he was but in time that may come and if it doesn't there is not a bit of him that I would miss so don't you.

Love,

An exhausted you sending energy to you for the me that you are going to become... You're going to need it.

Random Act of Kindness

Dear Littler Me,

Please don't be upset but I need to take some time away from the regular letters to address a situation happening here and now.  I promise I will get back to my regular format soon.

Today I want to share huge thanks to a Mr. Mike Bell.  I don't know where he is or anything about him other than the act of kindness he performed for my husband today while we are in the hospital.  Please see below for the video.

PLEASE SHARE 2 thankMike Bell for his #RAOK #Kindness https://t.co/47fXHPZFGg via @BidyBidyBop #MusicHeals #Music #musicislove

— BidyBidyBop (@BidyBidyBop) March 14, 2016

Sincerely,

Little B

It Takes a Tribe

Dear Littler B,

I am sitting here writing your letter today and feeling guilty that written to you in a couple days. I know I have been (for the most part) productive in the way of education in the world I've gotten us into - however I have been not so productive in content to provide you insight to what life is like when you become me.

Today's wisdom is coming to you across the decades not from me, but from those I have met through (what you will learn about in time) social media.

At times through your life you are going to be intrigued or inspired to try something new.  It doesn't matter if it is the time you decide to branch off into an unknown religion, learn how to cook, become a programmer, become a mother. All of these things carry the same levels of initiation, insecurity, ignorance, education and enlightenment.  Nothing comes to the average - non-savant Joe like you/I without a great big huge learning curve.

Sometimes along the way you are going to get lucky. You will find yourself in the middle of the village as the idiot who everyone is nice enough to help take care of or encourage and educate. A tribe of people who all have been through the same process and are on various levels of
enlightenment and are willing to share their experiences with you.

Be those experiences good or bad, soak them in dear little me. Every story is a learning experience if you look at it correctly. Learn from those around you what to do, what not to do, what to laugh at, when to work and when to play.  Every person is the wisest person. Wisest in how they have experienced their journey and how they experience this joyful and adventurous carnival ride called Life.

Along that learning process you will (when you are not even looking) become the proverbial butterfly from the creepy crawly caterpillar. Sometimes you will be the student, sometimes the teacher. In time you will go from being the village idiot that you always feel yourself to be into being the wise person that someone will look to for knowledge and inspiration.  I can't promise you will have gotten there yet when you become me, but I can tell you we are somewhere on the journey a little less idiot - a little more wise.

Encouraging you to embrace your village, be one with the tribe,

A big PS. Thank you FB Tribe for being my inspiration today.


Dancing & Frivolity Today Provided by:
Phillip Phillips - Home
Lorde - Royals
Rhianna - Stay
Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know
Phillip Phillips - Raging Fire
Anna Kendrick - Cups
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
John Legend - All of Me
Christina Perri - A Thousand Years

Being Humble

Dear Littler B,

Today I am surrounded by a bit of a scenery change.  I am writing to you on (believe it or not) my phone while I sit in a career center in town preparing to attend an unemployment orientation.  This is one of the sad byproducts of the fall of the economy which you will experience starting around 2000 but won't rear it's ugly fang toothed face full force until 2008.

Unfortunately the job market will chew you up and spit you out a couple of times, but don't despair.  It will encourage you to go many places, meet many wonderful people and allow you to reinvent yourself several times over. This time it has been a little difficult as I really loved the job that I was in and they blind-sided me with "revenue no longer supports your position".

It just seems to be a no win sometimes climbing to get out of the struggle since a big incident happened a little over a year ago.  I will share that information with you only because maybe you might be able to emotionally prepare yourself and handle it a little bit better than I did. Obviously, the "help" didn't come in the way it was hoped as you know I am still sitting here typing from Nashville, but you are resilient and find a way to endure.


The Keyboard Commentarian: Words of the Day: UPDATE & HELP: Last summer, I introduced you to Anthony Howell, the son of a dear friend of mine, Bridget, who was stationed at the Army National Guard, 11...

I finally qualified for a small stipend from unemployment that got unexpectedly frozen until I completed today's orientation so needless to say you are going to go through a time of no power, no telephone and no food when you get to be me.  Don't panic, people are amazingly wonderful. Today for example after my orientation I was able to get a small box of food and bread at the soup kitchen from a bunch of the most kind people I know in town. While it is not a job, it does help to get by. Every little bit helps. (I know you'd rather have the job - don't be ungrateful you little shit)

No matter how bad situations get, you are a survivor. Don't ever give up. Be strong and persevere. Things always find a way to land on their feet. I can keep going knowing that you never quit.



Sincerely, Shaken but Never Broken,

Today the following joined me to keep my ears company

State of TN Career Center PA - Random Elevator Music
Imagine Dragons - On Top of the World
Vangelis - Chariots of Fire
U2 - Beautiful Day
BonJovi - It's My Life
Smash Mouth - All Star
Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly Now
Louie Armstrong - Beautiful World
David Bowie - Just for One Day
Joanna Pacitti - Watch Me Shine
Kelly Clarkson - Stronger

The Bullies

Dear Littler B,

I'm sitting on my bed instead of in my office because I got thinking and the keyboard wouldn't wait.  Coffee is next to me and the sound of the truck beeps from the garbage man are coming from the parking lot outside, Drew Carey from the TV drones on in the background and the puppy is snoring half on my lap. (I say puppy, though he is really a little old man)

I'm not sure what made me think of this subject today, it might have been a commercial half heard in my sleep or just a memory flashing through my dreams but bullies are something that you have had to deal with pretty much before you know what the word means. I'm not sure what advice I can give you or anyone whose hands this may fall in, but I know what is truth for you.  In a way you are luckier than most in that you are the 4th child of 5 so you were able to be primed with a thicker skin than some.

There have been many instances you have already lived through, like getting hit in the head with a pan by one sister and having your goldfish boiled (I know you still remember that, because I do... IT WAS AN ACCIDENT). The years that you got picked on after moving from the belly of the south to New Jersey and having that thick southern drawl pour out of your mouth.

It's truly a double genetic whammy that you were born to be not much taller than the limit of a little person and graced with a name that rhymes with "midget". Even that best friend of yours from the swings that lets you sneak out of class with Helga (her car) to go get pizza for the lunch table started out as a bully if you remember correctly.

Thick skin or no, it still hurts.... THEN.


There are going to be many more instances to come so strap in and get ready for it. Like the time you will be at a dance for Halloween and someone will take the mask off your dancing partner to see "who would dance with her", or the time you are going to be grabbed by your hair and dragged on the old gym floor. (Though I still don't regret it resulting in shaving your head and showing up in combat boots from then on out). It will happen only very rarely when you are an adult, from a woman at work who will jump over your desk at you, from your own children, from people you thought you loved. I won't kid you.

I can't tell you why people are like they are, maybe they feel entitled, they feel better than you, maybe they feel less of a person, maybe they don't eve realize they are doing it. It is a fact of life that is a big topic in popular culture today made worse by the invention you have yet to learn - social media.  In all there is one thing that I can tell you that is very important for you to remember. There is only one thing in all of it that you can control.

YOU

Giving in and being hurt, doing something stupid will only put the champion belt on them. It will allow them to win. I promise you that it gets better, because you do. The immature will mature for the most part, but the best thing is that after school you will leave those people behind and be able to surround yourself by the people you deserve. As dad is famous for saying "This too shall pass".

If that doesn't help, let me from the future let you know.... Social media is also good for something else. I am able to see those people who may hold you down and tell you the beautiful become not so, the ones who got fat or bald or both. (Is that a little evil of me?)

Physical beauty only stays so long, popularity only stays so long but the love and light you have inside you can last forever if you let it.

Lots of love from a stronger and happier,

Bigger Little B



Today's Musical Accompaniment 

Taylor Swift - Mean
Dixie Chicks - Goodbye Earl
Hillary Duff - Fly
Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County
Blink 182 - Adam's Song
Mark Wills - Don't Laugh at Me
Morgan Fraizer - Hey Bully
Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
Matt Kennon - You Had to Pick on Me
Selena Gomez - Who Says
Bars and Melody - Hopeful

Friends...

Dear Littler B,

It is approaching lunchtime very fast here today and I have yet to get my message out to you.  We had quite an evening of it here. Last week was rent so every penny went to that. Sadly that meant we missed the electric bill by 1 day and had to go without power for the night in 17 degree weather. It was shaping up to be a very long evening. I'm not here to talk to you today about money troubles though (which you will have plenty of thanks to the local job market) but to talk to you about how we still slept in a warm bed with a warm meal in our stomachs.

One of the things that have been constant in your life is that somehow you are going to meet the best people in the world. The people you are going to be friends with over the years are going to have the biggest hearts that you could imagine. They have helped you survive in your roughest times over the years. Some out of the desire just to help, without expectations of reciprocation. You will know them when they come (mostly).

Last night was a great example. I know you will have a long time till you get to last night but, maybe when you get there you will remember what I told you so you don't worry as much as I did yesterday. A gentleman who you befriend about a year before I start writing to you is going to be one of your best friends when you are me.  You will meet him when you are going to the V.A. to visit your son. When he is out of the hospital he will move in with you for a little while until a lot of hard work gets him an apartment in the same complex.

You will have several people move in with you over the years because your motto is if you have $1 you will give someone else $2. Like the time you will make all those Easter baskets for the gang at the VA Hospital yet go without sustainable food for a good 2 weeks.  Maybe it's your belief in paying things forward, but probably not. You give to people not expecting to get anything back except the joy of knowing it makes others happy.  Especially your weak spot of veterans. Keep this trait. It will be the center of joy and amazing memories for a long time.

In all, the most important thing to remember is to be the best kind of friend you can be. Not because you expect anything (though I know you don't - because you are a stubborn mule and don't usually let people know when you are having a hard time), but because they all deserve it. They (the friends you will make) have been such a rock in the storm that is going to be your life. 

Outside of that, the only thing that I give you as far as today's advice is to LET them be your friend. You know how much you like the feeling of helping people? Your true friends also have the right to feel that feeling so when they get adamant (and they will) within reason, be ok with accepting help. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Warmly yours,

Bigger Little B



Today's earworms brought to you by

Cam - Burning House
Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County
Alan Jackson - Don't Rock the JukeBox
Alan Jackson - Chattahoochie
Garth Brooks - The Dance
George Strait - Carrying Your Love With Me
Toby Keith - Should've Been a Cowboy
Kenny Rogers - Lady
John Michael Montgomery - I Swear
Dixie Chicks - There's Your Trouble
Shania Twain - Any Man of Mine
Lone Star - Amazed
Tim McGraw - It's Your Love
Vince Gill - I Still Believe in you
Brooks & Dunn - My Maria
Reba McIntyre - Is There Life Out There
Tim McGraw - I Like It, I Love It
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
Garth Brooks - The Thunder Rolls
Randy Travis - Love Without End Amen
Michael W. Smith - Friends

Everything I Needed To Know

Dear Littler Me,

Good morning and all that warm fuzzy greeting stuff that you are supposed to say at the beginning of a letter.  Today I thought I would write to you about something that has been in the back of my head for a little while, hence the title of this letter, "Everything I needed to know I learned from Ellen DeGeneres"

This as always is just a few points of wisdom for you to live by. It's done me wonders.

Sincerely,

Bigger Little B.

Don't be afraid to be who you are.

 “Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.” Ellen DeGeneres

The universe is so much bigger than you or I (same thing in this case) imagine.

“The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.” Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously I'm Kidding

Stand up for what you believe in.

 No matter what your cause or what it is you believe go at it with your whole heart and soul if it is important to you.

Nothing feels better than giving.

No matter what you have in life, trust me.... Someone else has less. Things are nice but the feeling of spreading love will last forever.

Except when it is a complete surprise. 

Exceed expectations every chance you can.

Never give up

Life is hard. The day to day living is hard enough without adding dreams into it. But just think of the dreams you will accomplish if you give up...

Always see the humor in life

“Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, "I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster." - Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously I'm Kidding

 

When all else fails.... Dance

Thank you GoodReads.com for helping me with some of the quotes above.


Today's background sound provided by biography.com & Youtube
http://www.biography.com/people/ellen-degeneres-9542420/videos/ellen-degeneres-full-episode-2244678863