Monday, January 18, 2016
Hello Dear Littler Me
Dear Little Me,
I am not sure what I hope to accomplish by these letters to you as I sit in my living room blaring Sister Christian. Am I looking for a catharsis into why I am the way I am? Am I looking to warn my younger self about the pitfalls and tribulations you will experience? Steer you away from heartache? Nah, I don't think so. Because Little B, you will become the best version of yourself for having experienced these things. You could take the safe road and be another Stepford or you can be true to who you are, in which case the things I warn you of you will barrel into with such speed it would put the Flash to shame.
There are so many things to look forward to at the same time. Do I tell you about them so that you have something to look forward to? Who knows. I would hate to have my information reach you at a time when you look at it and say "I am going to do things so much bigger" and you run screaming as fast as you can in the other direction so you don't get tripped up. Let me tell you Little Me, those things are a whole lot bigger than you may imagine. The tentacles that reach out from every decision have had such profound changes in areas that you never expected in both big and small ways. You never realize the waves you made have long lasting ripples in the pond.
I'm hoping this reaches you somewhere around 1988-89. Grown up enough to know what you want to do with your life, yet young enough to have the passion and drive to make those things happen. Full of creativity and design to enact some of the greatest things in your life.
These letters will be random and sporadic. I have lots to tell you. Not so you don't make the same mistakes, but so you know that those mistakes have all been worth the making. For every time you've tripped in this life you have found a feather bed waiting at your feet to catch you when you fall. How you ask? Because you have chosen to look at life that way. It may not seem it when you are falling but when you stand up, brush your ass off and look back you realize.... Damn you have good friends, good family, good instincts or just plain dumb luck.
Will I warn you to stay away from that boy in the band, things that were supposed to last forever to my young mind may not always mean the same things as you hope they would; however, he will give you one of the most precious gifts you could ever imagine in this lifetime. Go for it in all its heartache because the amazing wonders you will experience and the way your life will change will never be equaled. If I can offer up one piece of advice there, just don't be afraid to get up on that stage. When the time comes you will know. Sing like no one is listening. Like you are in your bedroom belting out those songs you play on your portable turntable.
You have a lot of good things to look forward to Little B. Internet is pretty much society's lifeline. While it can be a bane of your existence at times, it will also make 1,200 miles seem like the next couch. I say this as I am putting this letter out there on my laptop computer, those big beastly computers you have are a thing of the past. Microwaves are a mandatory. I'm not just talking about ones like you already have where Kari wants a hotdog and turns the dial to Zero Twenty Five it. MP3 players are the bomb. A device that stores thousands of songs that you can pull up at whim and listen to. So much easier than LPs. A good playlist has the power to get you juiced, nostalgic, sad, happy. ("Hey You" Pink Floyd is playing right now in the background making me think of Mr. D)
Cell phones, also bane and blessing. A device in your pocket that anyone can call at any time and that you can pick up and see how friends and family are doing. Can't go wrong. They have come such a long way since the big bricks you know with the big antenna that you pull out. Captain Kirk was not too far off, yes they have even made them in a watch that you can talk and see the person calling you although they are so expensive no real person can afford one thereby making demand a hell of a lot less than I'm sure they hoped.
There are a lot of things that haven't gotten better though. You know how your home always looks cozy and comfortable? Well that's because Mom makes it look so easy. Having your own place is a heck of a lot harder. I wish I had helped out a lot more looking back across the years. I might have learned a lot more than I did. You know how things always had a place and were clean? SHE did that. Where I sit now, I am that adult and I have to do all that. Its not so bad most of the time. Put on some music and sing and dance around the place cleaning. That only works when you get the motivation so heed my words Little B, be your motivation. You of all people know that you do nothing unless YOU decide you are going to. Being lazy is going to make you your own worst enemy. I know you hate it when Mom says that to you but after decades I have learned that it is unequivocally the only truth this life has taught you.
You know how it always seems you have every thing you need and a lot of times the things you want? Well, that's all your parents. Mom & Dad make it look like it is little effort and everything is provided. Don't drink that Kool-Aid. (That happened in 78 so you should know that phrase). Mom & Dad work and balance insane amount of things to pull off providing for 5 children. Watch them a lot closer and learn. They are the biggest allies you will ever have in this life. Don't miss a second of wisdom you can garner from being in their presence. One day it will be your turn to teach those things to your children the same way. If you don't watch you will land flat on your face in that task instead of the previously mentioned feather bed.
Well, I am sure my first letter has been a bit of a (to use a phrase you use often) verbal diarrhea. I'm hoping as the letters go on I will learn to cull the thoughts that will matter and sprinkle them with the fun things. This will be a fun exercise I think as long as I stick to it. I don't know if they will make a difference in your life Little B, but maybe they will in mine. Who knows where the untraveled road goes?
Bigger Little B.
Songs Listened To While Writing
Terry Jacks - Seasons in the Sun
Salt & Peppa - Lets Talk About Sex
Guns & Roses - Sweet Child O Mine
Survivor - The Search is Over
Led Zepplin - Stairway to Heaven
Prince - SeVen
Pink Floyd - Hey You
Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb
Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall
Phil Collins - Take a Look at Me Now
Journey - Open Arms
Night Ranger - Sister Christian Follow my blog with Bloglovin
Labels: dance, experiment, fun, happiness, hurt, inspiration, laugh, life, live, love, music, past, remember, sing
NJ / NY girl living near Nashville. Eternal old school NYC punk sk8r girl. Mom of 4. Blue Star mom. Teacher, counselor, artist, and writer.